3. Maya's Second Journal

Maya's Second Journal


  • _Maya stood and watched from a respectable distance as Pavel knelt beside Yana, explaining something to her, holding a goblin bone. On several occasions he had stood with a thick stick, his hand on the top, the bottom on the ground, while Yana kicked at its center

    Pavel never yelled, but Yana had occasionally been reduced to tears. When Yana did something wrong, Pavel did not hold back his criticism. He was harsh but fair.

    The first lesson had been difficult. Yana had failed to understand it wasn’t a game, and it took some convincing as Maya tucked her in that night that it would all be for the best. Now Yana was on her third lesson with Pavel, and Maya could see Yana’s attitude beginning to change. Her playful approach had been replaced with focus and determination.

    At first, Maya had considered asking Keira. Maya remembered though that her own father and grandfather had sent her to the arms master to learn spear craft. There are certain times that strangers make better teachers. The foundations of learning to kill someone are one of them. Maya would later build on what Pavel had taught her, as her own parents and grandfather had done, so many, many years ago in the Uthgardt tribe

    There was a sudden snap, and the stick Pavel held buckled in the center, about where a goblin’s knee would be. Yana stood there, favoring one leg for a moment, eyes delighted with success. Pavel spoke to her softly, making corrections, telling her what she did wrong or right, but never smiled.

    Killing was serious business. As it should be._

    Entry 27 – Paths

    Pavel have been give lesson to Yana. There are many who not approve see little girl learn this, but I remember was about same age, when father send me to arms master for teach spear.

    I do this for many reason. Yana need learn must fight. In head and heart, Yana still running. I see beginning of learn fight when hit Talgris over head with little toy hammer, but when I try teach, is mostly game for her.

    Fight can be game. Kill is not game. I know this. Tempus know this. Is why Pavel teach.

    Even if Yana never kill, she need to know in heart can. If become priest, or scholar, or make music, will be time in life that need to know can fight and kill. I see many in life who pause when time come, and die for it. Yana will not pause. I will see to.

    I get letter from Dwin deliver by little Hin. Dwin ask of I want join militia again. He try to gather great warrior for militia, and make strongest group in land. Am very much honor for this, but must wait until after war, then make decide. I talk to Lilin about, if can have job and be member of Sisterhood too, and she say many already do. So I give much thought to.

    Speak of Lilin. She tell me big secret. I not even write down here, in case someone read journal again.

    I not know which journey Yana take in life. I will try to teach listen to heart. She will have to learn listen to head on own, because I am not good at. But now, I help teach survive journey. Lesson is hard one.


  • Entry 26 – Brief Reunion

    I am much busy with move. All of children be move to camp, so is safe. I bring much from Sisterhood to camp and try make much as home for children. Hardest thing I do in long time was hug Yana goodbye. I promise visit when can, but see standing there with cloth doll in arm, and little wood hammer in hand when walk away, make heart break.

    I speak to man name Pavel who is fight and dance like Hugh, for teach Yana duck and use hands. I hope bring strength of heart for her. I make oath and promise favor for teach.

    I also speak to very tall man name Dentin, with metal leg. He is priest of god of make crafts. He say wizard took leg, and give metal one in place. Seem like nice person, but was very strange.

    Biggest news is when wait for battle I meet Nathen! Was so hard believe it take me moment for know is him. I forget about battle and hug so tight he squeak. Later, we go by Sisterhood, and talk about many things.

    He seem change. How I not put finger on. Is maybe have less courage face life. Now he work in Bard College in Peltarch, and say he will be busy for much time. I will make point go to Peltarch and visit.

    I ask him if still have Maya in heart, and he say yes. I have Nathen in heart but so much happen, will be different between us. I not know if will be same as once was, but will find out.

    Last thing write about was go to hall in Norwick for see end of contest, but say was cancel for war. I feel much embarrass and was ready for leave, but Cyrian there, and he say want challenge me. He want test self in fight against Maya. I ask if he want me hold back, and he say no, for do what take for win.

    Again I feel shame. I give Cyrian everything inside. I let anger come out. Strength of Tempus with me. …and I remember want to kill. I want kill man who just want test skill.

    He have good defend like merchant swordsman, but he cannot face fury of heart, and he fall. I remember pick head up by hair and raise axe, and was going to behead before I come to senses.

    He say I am good warrior, and surprise I make him fall fast, but if I cannot control self, will be danger to friend and enemy both.

    Is not warrior. Is butcher

    I will pray much to Tempus on this.


  • _Maya was almost to the gates of Jiyyd when she realized she had forgotten the list of supplies needed for the dinner tonight. Sighing, she turned on her heals and trudged back to the Sisterhood. Running back to her room, she tossed open the door and…

    …startled Mal and Julius in her room. Both looked up rather startled, Maya’s journal dropping from Mal’s hands onto the floor. Both stared wide-eyed at Maya, who returned the wide-eyed stare with one of her own.

    Mal and Julius had been brought to the Sisterhood as part of the refugees from Ormpur. They had lived with their uncle for a time, but he had turned up missing. Due to the recent attacks, Maya had considered sending them up to Peltarch, but both had considerable carpentry skills for their age, and had been very handy repairing the shed and fences. Julius was 14, and Mal was 15.

    Both looked at the doorway for an exit, but Maya stood there blocking it.

    “Shit Mal!”, I tol’ ya this was a bad idea!”, Julius whined, shoving Mal.

    Maya folded her arms and looked down at the two kids. Mal was almost a man, and had started a growth spurt that kept the pantry always in need of food. Julius his cousin, seemed much younger than their year apart, due to the height difference.

    “Journal is private. You know this”, Maya said, glaring at the kids.

    “What’cha goin’ ta do?” Mal looked up quizzically.

    “I think maybe if boys want look for dirt, should give opportunity. Come”, Maya said ushering the boys outside.

    “I tol’ ya this was a bad idea!“, Julius repeated.

    “Oh shove it”, Mal retorted, pushing his younger cousin ahead of him. Maya led both of them around to the side of the Sisterhood. Once there, Maya paced off ten steps from the end of the fence, making a mark in the dirt.

    “Fence need go to here. Cow sometimes go in trees. Best get busy”

    Julius swore and grabbed a shovel from the shed. Mal stood there and turned to face Maya. “What if I don’ wanna”?

    Maya looked at him for a moment, then grinned. Walking up to Mal, she whispered something in his ear. Mal gave her a dirty look, turned with a huff, and grabbed a shovel._

    Entry 25 – Stuff and Things

    Chancellor Lucid say was too busy to make ring. He do right and apologize, but was still sad about. Later though, I run into whole group of forest people. Was Wolf, Fadia, Raisa and William. Fadia offer put nature magic on ring. I give ring and gold ahead of time because I trust. Nature magic is good.

    I also get letter from Talgris. Am glad is safe, but he must know I not make life sit still because he not here. He say try come back. I hope is true.

    I had long good talk with Nicahh about some things Shannon say. It put mind at rest. So many listen to rumor and not talk to for self. Is why I try judge people for self, and not what other say about.

    Nicahh says I am wise. Is kind words, but is not true. I not know philosophy. I not know law much like Barrim or Shannon. I know numbers only little bit, and not know poison ivy from weed. Still not master trade speak. I just try speak from heart and hope other do too.

    I catch two boys read journal. I very angry at first. If was man would have broke nose, but not boy unless do many times. I give extra work for punish, make fence longer. Older boy begin say no, so I whisper promise pull down pants, put over knee and spank in front of other. I tell him be good story for other until both old and gray. He get to work after that.


  • _The smell of warm cookies and the echoes of children’s laughter linger in the dining hall of the Sisterhood. Visions of flour covered faces, sticky hands, and jelly smiles still remain.

    Maya sits quietly by the large fire place, the stirring fire creating medusa like shadows from her braids on the wall behind her. The children have been tucked into bed, Natanya departing less than an hour ago. Save for the crackling of the dying fire, all is quiet.

    Maya stares at the fire for quite some time, her brow knitting with troubled thoughts. With care she opens a large bag leaning beside the chair, and takes out her journal, opening it to a new page._

    Entry 24 – Rumors

    I have argument with Shannon other day, while in Peltarch. I ask maybe he come down to Sisterhood, help make cookies, play with children for time. Yes, was way of try get Shannon and Natanya together without armor of body and heart, but it not work.

    Shannon does not like Sisterhood.

    I ask why, and he say take care of people with dark heart. I ask who is dark, and he speak few names. I say Sisterhood do good things, but I am not able to follow all he says. He speaks quick, and some words am not familiar. But I get much meaning, and cannot help but think he is wrong.

    He says Sisterhood have these things, and do good, for power and politic.

    It take me many days of think about and put thoughts one by one inside of head. Shannon is very wise, is true. But I get feeling his heart cannot see.

    Maybe I am blind, but when see children smile because I make cookie, or tell story, or teach story of Uthgardt people, I cannot help but see good in this. Nicahh bring me here and ask nothing, and help me find place where am happy.

    Nicahh did good for me. She did good for children. How is bad in this? Where is power or politic gain? If Nicahh try get power, or gain politic so can do for other what did for Maya and children, then is good thing, not bad.

    He use example of people of names I not know before. Say they do good, but no one know about. Is maybe because Shannon has been in places I have not. Are many people do good that I not know about. Is true. But I ask this –

    How come everyone know Shannon? Is Shannon for power and politic gain? I think no, even if is judge in biggest city in land.

    I wish could have said to him, but sometimes take days to get what think about in order.

    Yes, is true some have dark heart. I can see in Keira. Heart is so empty she cannot feel. But other day, I see her face light up like small girl when snow fall, and I watch as she walk, very light on feet because be so happy. So it seed there for grow.

    Natanya say something very wise for me once. I ask why she goes to evil place in the ground where lizard men are. She say best place for light, is in the dark.

    Maybe my heart be enough light for some seed grow too.


  • Entry 23 – Heartache

    I not know why he left. He say in words in note. He say he was for protect me and Yana from people who would do harm. But family is people who stick together through things good and bad. I was hope Talgris would maybe think of me that way. Think of as family. He say why he leave, but not know the why in his heart.

    Maybe because I want so much, I hope for much. Maybe too much.

    I travel to Peltarch few day later. I try avoid hobgoblin because not feel like celebrate battle. Was just sad and angry over what want and cannot have. I think maybe buy cloak make feel better, or buy special healing drink make all better from almost dead.

    I go in Peltarch, and see many around commons. See Natanya and Shannon talk off to side. I think maybe say hello, but am not good company, so I go about look at things, maybe bring smile to face first, before say hello.

    All I see is too much gold. That make dark feeling even darker. Then I hear Natanya call out name, and run up talk to me. She see I am sad, and want to talk about.

    So we talk much. We sit on grass and share heart about things we want, things we have, and things we had. Soon I begin feel something not expect.

    I feel shame.

    I have had so much Natanya not have. I had love of Adam. I have wonderful memory of make pleasure in tub of hot water. I have memory curl behind with no clothes, and whisper story in ear, until I sleep and dream of them. I have memory of wedding in Damara, on site of great, great battle. Tempus was there for me then. I could feel him watch us.

    I have memory of silly Nathen who leave trail of roses. I have memory of carry him over shoulder to room and have way with, while he laugh much and pretend protest. I remember him be easy for tickle. I remember heart always see good in things, even when things are bad. I remember have confidence (word is crossed out and respelled several times) in all things I do.

    Now, I have memory of Talgris. Is short memory, but it burn like bonfire. Make pleasures was like great battle with him, full of triumph and joy.

    I have these memory and many more…

    …and Natanya does not.

    She love someone very much who cannot find in heart for return same, and it fill me with much sadness for see. I see pain in eyes when she speak with me about. This someone is Shannon.

    When under tree in camp, I ask Shannon once if he make vow for not be with woman. All he say was, “Something like that”. I know Roland do this, so I ask Shannon if same.

    I wish could knock Shannon in head, shout WAKE UP so he see beautiful Natanya in front of him. Though he not know this, I was ready for do commons, but he put helm on. Was probably good thing, because knock on head not likely change heart or duty to Torm.

    I can do nothing for friend Natanya but try take mind from, so I invite to Sisterhood for make cookies and pastry with children. Sometimes, snickerdoodle, milk and warm fire best thing for heart.


  • _In the very early morning, Talgris turned the ceremonial dagger over in his hands, its polished blade catching the moon light through the window. Maya slept peacefully, braids and dirty blond hair spilling out across both pillows. Talgris stood there beside the bed, and simply stared at her, time forgotten in the moment.

    They had found him again. The faces of those he killed stood etched in his mind, rows of faces going back through long years. Some of them belonged to people that were remembered, by people that cared, who prayed to Hoar for vengeance. A warriors curse perhaps.

    The dagger has been found on Maya’s pillow, a harsh reminder that it was easier to protect himself than others. He never told her. Her life was different here. There were responsibilities and children to care for. There would be no honor, in bringing his past here.

    Before turning to leave, he took one last look. The note on his pillow pinned to the flower didn’t have the words he wanted to say, and the cowardice of it blackened his heart. He knew however, that if he woke her, she would ask him to stay with her, and fight…

    …and he wouldn’t be able to say no.

    Quietly, he left the Sisterhood, and headed down the Long Road. The journey to Peltarch wouldn’t take that long, he mused. Familiar journeys were often the shortest. From there, a small fishing boat to Hoarsgate perhaps, or a caravan to Damara.

    As the leagues passed beneath his feet, he brought out a small lock of hair, tied with leather, and pinned to a black feather. “A gift from Maya and Tempus, for you”, she said, after their first night in the Sisterhood together.

    He brought it up to his face, and breathed deeply, wondering sadly how long her scent would linger._

    Entry 22 – Abandoned

    I not know…

    There is little legible on this page. The ink has run in spots, wet and splotchy, and in some places smeared or scratched out. It’s obvious Maya stopped and started at several points, but simply lost the will to finish.


  • Entry 21 – Quiet Times

    Things very quiet for now. Talgris come over when can, and I play with children much. I am worry about few older boys. Now that Talgris here, they not so eager do things with group. One even take swing with fist at Talgris after practice, which not end bad but still make worry. I want Talgris be accept here.

    Yana seem OK with him, but Talgris used to sleep later than Yana. Yana come in to room and bounce on Talgris other morning, and Talgris give me “Do something” look. I take Yana out and get oatmeal, and put too much syrup on.

    Talgris get up three hour later. Sleepy head!

    I know Talgris is like bear. Will rest here, eat too much, drink too much, and then battle will call him. Then he get up before sun and practice hard for weeks. Maybe in Spring. Is too cold get out of bed now.

    I do very good in archery contest for try win gold, but big elf Ael beat me. Good luck only last for so long. I make joke be easier throw him at target instead, and everyone in meeting hall laugh.

    Oh! I have new shield! I was able sell old armor, and sell dusty old bottle of give huge strength to Lilin. Dwarf in Peltarch get new shipment in of many things with magic, and I have gold for buy new shield. Is heavier than one have before, but better protect against heavy weapon like mace or flail.

    I also speak to Chancellor of Norwick name Lucid. He said will make magic ring for me. I hope have enough gold! Ael find ring for good enough enchant, and when give I make joke that man should be on knees when give ring. Is easy make joke with Ael.

    Ael and I get lost on magic beach in Peltarch. Is hard explain…but happen. I hope Nicahh and Talgris not be angry I spend so much time with Ael, but always seem be in same place same time.

    Here, there is an entry squeezed into the margin

    Is fun try make pleasures and be very, very quiet!


  • _Rather early one morning, little Yana sleepily padded into Maya’s room, clutching her cloth doll and little wooden hammer. It was a cold morning, and Maya was covered almost completely in furs. Yana walked over and jiggled Maya’s shoulder.

    “Maya, I had ‘nother bad dream. I tried ta hit ‘em with…”

    The figure rolled over. It wasn’t Maya.

    A scarred face framed with stringy, dark, graying hair opened one eye lazily to stare at the little girl with elven features.

    Yana stared back, eyes wide at saucers
    “Hello”, grumbled the man sleepily

    Yana shrieked, and with surprising force brought the little wooden hammer down on the side of the man’s head and shoulders repeatedly

    “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MAYA!”, shrieked little Yana as she rained ill aimed blows upon him

    “ow..OW! FARK!”

    On the other side of him, Maya sat up suddenly, startled out of a deep sleep, blinking quickly.

    “Is OK! Is OK!”, she said quickly, holding out her arms and gently grabbing Jana’s wrist, dragging her over him and onto her side of the bed.

    “Is good man. Name of Talgris”

    Yana sat on top of Maya’s legs, looking at Talgris distrustfully as he rubbed the side of his head, “He looks like an ogre. I thought he ate you”

    “No, no. Ogre much bigger and uglier. But little Yana very brave fight Talgris too!”

    Talgris covered himself up with the firs again, and began laughing._

    Entry 20 – Blood and Lust

    I meet Talgris today in Jiyyd. He say want talk to me about something. We head out of Jiyyd near west fields of Sisterhood by trees.

    He ask if I know what place is. I then realize was place where ask Adam be mate, and marry. I tell him his, and he just smile, and say is place where bury, very long ago. Then he reach into pouch and give flower. Same kind that live forever, and glow in dark. He say is last one, and I should have.

    Is hard write in words how feel at time. I feel very little, and very big at same time. I remember feel warm all over, and face feel hot. I ask why he dead so long and come back, he take my hand, put on his chest and say,

    “I come back for you”

    I have no words for moment. Here is warrior of Tempus, say he come back from Tempus for be with me. He tells me am pretty, and always think so. He is tall and strong, and suddenly realize it must be like poem I write. I want him beside for fight, I want him in field of grass. I just … want.

    I tell him must see fight. I need see fight, and after walk say he want fight bugbear who put him in ground in first place.

    Journey is blur. Blood is hot, and when we get near bugbear, I make pray to Tempus. I tell Tempus if like Maya, bless battle, because if Talgris die I be pissed. He smile at this, and I get out holy water and make bless, then we battle.

    All bugbear fall before us. Even one with great axe. I remember lose self in battle when face him, just for Talgris.

    But one with big axe have brother.

    Scout come and see us, and try stop, but as soon as do we hear brother scream and charge. Then he make mighty swing, and I see Talgris stagger…

    …but not fall.

    Talgris back out of fight holding stomach, and I cut brother bugbear with big axe to pieces. Then we run out of place before others catch, both with blood sing in heart.

    Talgris only say one word … “Boarshead”

    I think was lucky even make that far.

    Make pleasures with Talgris was like another battle, two warrior of Tempus join for celebrate life. I do not know if Talgris will become part of heart like Adam, but is good start.

    Am happy bed is warm again.


  • Entry 18 – Shopping

    Woman name Winter and woman name Serenity take to place in Peltarch where can have clothes made. Call Divinity Plate or something. I already have nice clothes from Nicahh and Sisterhood, but I go along anyway, for protect and maybe get something nice. Little elf name Thorn tag along too. Still have no one to warm bed, and maybe better look like woman than Champion of Tempus.

    Trip to Peltarch without much fight, and Winter seem upset. I ask who pray too, and was hope hear name Tempus, but instead pray to Tymora. Use little skinny sword like Adam use, and wonder if all worshipper of Tymora use little skinny blade. Even Zyphlin use. Cannot help think Tymora worshipper be all gone if only learn use weapon good for bar fight.

    We get there, and everything cost too much gold. Who want by clothes cost more than 1000 gold!? Can see if maybe enchant, or have magic turn evil wizard into toad, but for just look pretty?

    Think easier if want man take clothes off, not put clothes on.

    Then we go south again, but Winter stay behind. Before know is with big group of people do battle with bugbear. Was big elf Ael, Keira, Vell, Laucian, and few other. Vell is priest of Corellon like Rary, and have good prayer. Make stronger, and feel like could run forever.

    We do battle smart with bugbear. Scout go ahead and make report. We find bugbear for battle, choose field of battle every time. Was great victory over evil bugbear, and Tempus was please. Afterwards, I pray to Tempus much for honor bugbear, for they fight very brave.

    Battle was not hard, and blood not sing so much, but just enough feel warm. I remember say things to Ael about how look cute, and exchange words of flatter. Ael is only elf ever meet who would want make pleasures with. Other much too skinny. I keep think if Ael would like point of ear nibbled, and begin laugh. I would not dishonor Nicahh, so is just words, but is fun think about!

    Entry 19 – Magic Ring

    I meet Rary by fire in Norwick after fight bugbear, and say want buy magic ring. He say must look for Magic Ring maker. I spend whole day ask guard of Peltarch, shopkeeper, innkeeper, and even Hemrod, and no one over hear of!

    Now feet very sore, and am late for children. I think maybe Rary have sand in head.


  • _Maya quietly enters the Sisterhood, her belongings carried in a sack over her shoulder. Her armor removed outside, she pads along in bare feet over to her room, and carefully sets down the sack in the corner. As she goes to get into bed however, she notices a small lump curled up near the pillow.

    Yana is sleeping quietly in Maya’s bed, the deep slumber of the young has kept her unaware of Maya’s presence. The little shield has fallen on the floor, but the hammer is clutched tightly next to her little cloth doll

    Maya stands there, lost in the moment, before carefully settling down next to the bed_

    Entry 17 – Home again

    Am finally home, back in Sisterhood. I not write much in journal while in tree, even with have little for do. Headache so bad sometimes want to hit everyone in head with axe and tell shut up. Even burble of huge pot get on nerve.

    Curse was broke when collect all bone and put evil wizard to rest. Am glad have friend who could figure out, because otherwise would have die from curse.

    I remember did ask Talgris why give me flower. He said was because was mark of assassin, and when get knew would die. He said he would wear on clothing proud, for tell assassin he not afraid. He said wanted to give to girl would know would wear in hair. I have to think about that much, and then finally understand one night and make feel warm inside. I wish still had.

    I also remember try give Shannon hug when I see hope start fade, and he get very upset. Natanya say is not Shannon’s way. He prefer book instead. So I write to Adam friend King in Damara. I write long letter, try explain, and ask favor. I hope letter get there.

    Children were much happy seem me, and words in journal cannot say how happy I was. I have to tell too tired for game, but promise try make honey pastry in kitchen. I not know how to make, but will be fun try. Am sure will make huge mess, and get flour over everything, but hear laughing children be worth it.


  • Entry 16 – Cold Caves

    We still have curse, and it get worse. I have headache so big it need own government, so I keep entry short.

    We look in Cold Caves. Was many ogre live there, some with powerful magic. I try protect William, but he fall at my feet, and before could kill ogre, ogre hit while on ground and make big mess of. I almost die too. Both save by grace of god of duty and honor.

    Not find bones. Two more now have curse.

    I think Steelfin right. We must stay here in tree. Keep curse here. I hate not fight own battle, but risk too big for us leave. We need put our life in hands of friends for find. Will be hard swallow, but must do. Others without curse will be stronger, able think better.

    There is a space here, and a spot and spatter of blood

    Nose start bleed little. I write few last words, before sleep.

    I begin wonder of Shannon. On way out, not wait for William and Vell. Both so tired could barely move, and almost dead from cold and hurt. I stay behind and guard and help. We share potion between for keep alive. When finally catch up, Shannon only say, “Have nice rest? Take long enough”.

    I know Shannon much more wise than Maya, and maybe do right thing, but sometime have feeling he do right and good thing because have duty to, and not because want to. Heart maybe strong, but maybe strong because made of stone.


  • Entry 15 – First Poem

    Is many books on floor, and I cannot read any. I feel of no use for help others find information on evil necromancer. So I pray to Tempus, and ask for help. Vow if help, that I write poem about battle. I gather all book in circle, stand in center and close eyes, spin around and pick two.

    It not work.

    So I look up and yell and say not write poem, but think maybe backwards. Should write poem first, then ask for Tempus help. So here is…

    _We fight as one
    At each ones side
    From sun to sun
    For Tempus pride

    Now battle’s won
    The day is long
    There’s still much sun
    And hearts have song

    So in the field
    Where battle fought
    Two hearts will yield
    Where life did not

    New day begins
    Tomorrow’s sun
    At each ones side
    We fight as one._

    Is time for go now. Shannon pray to god of duty and honor, and get maybe clue. I make this entry before go to battle. I hope poem is good one, and Tempus like.


  • Entry 14 – Cursed

    I sit here now with other, and all much sick from curse of evil necromancer who become Lich so many year ago that not matter. Shannon find box in Cold Caves. When open, many start feel bad. It take me longer for feel sick, and Wolf not get sick at all. Woman in tree name Jenni say is because Wolf is forest person, and care for forest and life much and is hard for death sneak up on. Natanya, Shannon, and Jenni try figure out what have to do make curse go away. They wise in such thing, Maya is not, so is not much else for do but write and talk and pray. I will pray to Tempus much, and ask not die like this.

    Before this happen, I meet old friend in pass name Anakore. I not see in long time, and was good to see old friend do well. We speak much on many thing by lake in Jiyyd, and am glad see healthy and good spirit. I still smile at great battles we have with big spider, and fun we have make pleasures in Boarshead. We not of same heart, so just stay friend.

    Also spend much evening talk to Nicahh, Keira and Jerr. Am still not sure what make of. I think Jerr love Keira even though already have wife, and Keira not feel same way, and does not love. Keira is so hard make answer question straight, I almost give up try. Is like so used to hide behind words and hide behind heart that no know own self, and it make me sad and frustrate for see. I think maybe something very, very bad happen to Keira very long ago, and now is at sisterhood for Nicahh look after. Is feeling I get, way Keira look at Nicahh.

    Nicahh also take out magic paper and turn into cat for fun. Was very silly.

    Later come challenge for Jerr for stay as chief of Heyokarr. Was good fight, and was proud for witness great event in name of Tempus. New person won, and Jerr now have step down. I hope new chief understand Jerr have much wisdom, and can learn from. Was big problem after duel because new chief claim old custom and take all of wife belong to Jerr, but problem was really not problem because no chief allow more than one anyway. Is too confusing, so just glad is fixed.

    So now here am under big tree with everyone be sick. Only good thing come of this is stuck here with man not see in long time. Man name Talgris

    I meet Talgris very long ago, in great city of Peltarch. Talgris worship Tempus too, and is older, with hair start turn gray. Not many worship Tempus live for see hair turn gray unless very smart, or very good.

    Long ago, Talgris give gift I treasure always. Was most perfect gift. Was magic flower that soft glow in dark, and never die.

    I used think about this gift much. Often, would put beside journal, and use for light for write. I like to think was like Maya, who go through life unchange and put little light in places of dark. Have receive many gift, but was only one of few gift someone give, that make me feel like woman, and not warrior. I wonder how he know was such good gift, or what was in heart when put in my hair that day, then walk off and I never see again…until now.

    After write this, should ask, before he walk away again.


  • _Maya awoke slowly to little hands shaking her shoulder. The cobwebs of sleep clung tenaciously, and it was all Maya could do to emote a simple groan. The shaking however, was persistent.

    “Maya! Wake up! Maaayaaa! You promised!”, came the little voice

    “I promise what?”, Maya mumbled, eyes bleary.

    “You promised to play hide and seek!”, the little voice pleaded.

    Maya finally rubbed and cracked her eyes open, and was greeted with little Yana’s face…and a host of other children in the room. Maya’s eyes got bigger as her realization at the scope of the audience grew.

    “What time is?”, said Maya, half falling out of bed as she tried to peer out the window. The ale apparently, was still being unkind to her. As Maya struggled to stand, some of the children giggled, and a few of the older boys chuckled. Maya looked down at herself and realized just how little she was wearing, and sighed heavily.

    “It’s almost noon”, some unknown voice came from the back of the room.

    Maya wrapped the blanket around herself and faced the children, still struggling to focus her vision. A few of the older boys smirked.

    “After pee, after eat, after wake up”, Maya mumbled, “Now shoo!”

    The kids all sauntered off, a few of the older boys still smirking and talking quietly. All except Yana, who stood there still looking up. Maya just sighed again, pulling out the chamber pot from underneath her bed.

    “I thought I say shoo?”, Maya said looking at Yana

    “Maya, how come you sleep alone?” Yana asked, looking up innocently

    Maya smiled a bit, taking care of business. “Is big question for little person”, Maya said pausing a bit. “Is because not have a man”

    “How come?”

    Maya finished, threw some soft deerskins over her head, and looked down at the diminutive little girl. “Is another big question”, Maya said, squatting to bring her closer to Yana. “Is not always simple thing for find person of same heart”

    Yana just looked at Maya and nodded, then padded out the room in thought. Maya turned and stared at her own empty bed, sighed and closed her eyes._

    Entry 13 – Blood Song

    We fight gnomes other day in Jiyyd. They evil, little things, and much good avoid blows from weapons. Many people fall that day, or come close to fall. Was once I was trap behind wall of sword, and watch Kara try to fight too many. I run through wall for help Kara, get cut all over, and evil gnome put spell on me and make world spin. I remember Kara yell for pull back and we do, all badly wound.

    Later we come back for rescue body of wizard name Abner. We fight many more gnomes, get body, and return.

    It was then I feel blood song.

    Is hard explain for someone not feel. Blood song is rush of feel life after battle. When see so much death, make so much death, and maybe get close to death, life stand out, like bonfire on cold dark night. I feel blood sing through body then, and sometime all can think about is celebrate life and make pleasures.

    I remember after battle, when walk back to center of Jiyyd, only man walk beside was Rary. He have no idea how close he come for clothes rip off and carry to inn. Now I think about and make face.

    I see hint of blood song in Drelan. Is in heart. But Drelan think too much, and not listen to heart. All must be reason with Drelan. Even though he say will not, I still pray for him, and hope he find way to Red Knight again, or maybe even Tempus.

    Is very late now, and cannot sleep. I write this by lamp. I tell children tomorrow is “Maya Day”. Yana ask what “Maya Day” is, and I tell her is day for Maya remember all good things in life. I not know when birthday is, but remember is this time of year, so tomorrow good as any. I think maybe get snow and cover with nuts and honey, and eat too much pastry. I will also remember all of men in heart, and hope have room for another. Bed is cold at night.


  • Entry 12 - Drelan

    I see Drelan come into Jiyyd day before. Was wearing merchant colors, and look very upset. I feel respect for, because Drelan best me in spar at Norwick fights. I have regain strength now, so maybe not beat again, but Tempus teach respect for all warrior, and Maya have extra respect for good one who have honor.

    So I go over, and ask what wrong. He say is afraid of lose honor, and be like Deacon. I laugh inside at this, because Deacon have much spirit, and make me laugh too. But Drelan is serious. He afraid treat woman badly, or have too many, or stare at too much. I not really sure understand, but I offer help.

    I remember when fight Drelan in Norwick, and could see in eyes that blood sing in fight. So I offer get mind off of, and get blood sing again. I take to arena below inn in Jiyyd, and take off all armor, all weapon, and offer fight.

    I know probably win. Am almost head taller, and Tempus have give me much strength, but there is nothing like have to give all strength when hand to hand, instead of sword to axe. It make blood sing even more, and when in middle of fight, when arm locked with Drelan, I can see heart in Drelan eyes. Blood sing true.

    Afterwards, we sit on hill overlook Jiyyd, and drink much. He tell of life before, how used to worship Red Knight who serve Tempus, but now pray to god of sea. I ask why, and he say because Red Knight not answer when need most, and friends who take in and give him new home worship god of sea.

    I have learn that god not answer all time. Even priest, or paladin, or champion of Tempus. Is because is test of faith, or god want see what do with own choice, or without help. When Black Dragon knights go away, I pray to Tempus much, because Tempus tell join Black Dragon. But Tempus was silent. I know now was because he want Maya choose.

    Sometimes, god is just maybe busy. I like to think Tymora sometimes busy play cards and sing with Adam.

    So I take to Peltarch. Good long run give chance be sober. Then I take to shrine of Tempus. I not think he see much before, because stand with mouth open when see shrine of god of rising sun and Tempus. I take to shrine of Tempus and have pray. I pray with him.

    Unless get sign from Tempus, I do not think Drelan change. Is very hard when all friend do one thing, to stand and be true to self and do another. I tell Drelan if friend cannot understand be true to own heart, then is not friend at all. He say will think about, but when Drelan walk away, I feel sad, know that is Tempus on inside, but worship god of sea on outside.

    After he leave, I pray to Tempus so much, that feel hungry in morning. I ask give Drelan sign, and come back to Red Knight and Tempus. Would be shame let good warrior with much honor, and blood that sing in battle be where not belong.


  • Entry 11 – Shannon

    I pass Shannon on bridge other day. I think Shannon friend of mine, but when stop say hello at bridge, he make little nod with head and keep on walking. I turn around and ask if still friend. He says yes. I ask him why be so rude for just walk away, and he just shrug.

    Then yesterday, I see Shannon site on archer tower, alone. I been having strange memory of us kiss in room, and remember once we have dinner in Mermaid after he give me blessing of Fox and Owl long ago. So I go sit beside, ask how is, talk little bit, and then ask if we ever make pleasure. Some things still forget, so I really need know.

    Shannon just give sour look and walk away. This make me angry, and want to punch in nose. Is probably good thing I not find, because am more relax now, and have time to talk to people and think about.

    So I think about.

    I think about talk have with Shannon about Sylvain, about do and say right things. Is called (there is a gap in the ink, where Maya obvious stopped writing for a moment) “Courtesy” (“Thank you Nicahh!” is written in the margin). Sylvain not have much, and I remember Shannon say need right attitude for become knight, and now wonder if Shannon become person who say one thing, and do another. “Do as I say, not as I do”.

    Is another way of hide behind words.

    But then I talk to Natanya. She say that the Bad Place change him. It change Natanya. She say it change me too. Is true I think. Natanya is wise.

    So I think about.

    I think maybe Shannon has seen too much, and have no one share with. I think Shannon has done too much, but not have arms for hug, or shoulder for cry. All is left is duty, and his heart is heavy with.

    Shannon have friends who can share words with, share arms for hug, or even share cry if wish. True warrior is one who laugh, cry, love and share. Is no shame for any of.

    I just hope Shannon can see have friends, before one of them punch in nose.


  • _Little Yana stood there, with a look of wide-eyed consternation. In her right hand she held a wooden mallet, and in her left a small buckler. She had thick furs on, and a little petite helmet to protect her head.

    “Maya, how come I don’t have an axe?”

    “Because hammer is not sharp”, Maya said kneeling in front of her, adjusting the straps on the little shield”

    “But I wanna axe!”

    A small grin tugged at the corner of Maya’s lips, “Did Yana know, that holy weapon of Tempus is hammer? Many great war priest of Tempus use hammer. I use axe for memory of ancestor, and Uthgar. Tell what. You learn use hammer, then when older use axe.”

    Yana sighed petulantly, “Okaaay….”

    Maya proceeded of the next hour to teach little Yana the rudiments of using a shield and striking with a weapon. She poked at Yana with a stick until Yana could no longer take it seriously, and let Yana whack her armor with the little mallet until both started laughing. After the sun started to set, they both padded in for dinner.

    That evening, Yana lay curled up with Maya, as Maya told stories of adventure, gold and heroes the best she could. However, soon it was dark, and time for little girls to go to bed.

    “I wanna stay here”, Yanna pouted, a hint of fear turning the corner of her eyes.

    “Yana must be brave. Tempus like brave warriors”, Maya said gently.

    Yana’s lips began to quiver, and she quickly wiped a tear from her eye. “The goblins will get me again”, she said, barely above a whimper.

    Maya sighed, and then suddenly smiled. “I have idea!”

    The two of them went to Yana’s bed, where Maya carefully tucked her in. Then with great ceremony, she put the hammer in the crook of her right arm, and the shield over her left. Kneeling beside the bed, she looked up.

    “Tempus, protect this little warrior. When goblins come, let her fight brave and true, and smite them until they leave. Let her know that I fight beside, and will proud be shield mate in bad dreams”

    Maya looked down, and Yana’s eyes were scrunched tight, but she cracked open one eye when Maya stopped. Maya simply nodded.

    “Tonight, little Yana fight back”_

    Entry 11 – Allegiance

    I see many time, child come scared from bad dream and go to mother or father. There they sleep.

    I think is important for teach child face fear than protect from. This I do for Yana. Is too young learn fight with steel, but never too young fight with heart. I protect when can, but some demons child must learn face for self. I know this because mother, father and grandfather did for me, very long ago.

    I not have family of blood with now, but have family different. I have children with no parent. I have Nicahh and Sisterhood. I have Natanya, who is soul mate from the bad place, and will be part of heart always.

    I vow to Tempus to protect Sisterhood and who part of. I vow to Tempus to protect Natanya, even if not with axe. Person who attack family will face Maya wrath, and I kill without mercy.


  • Entry 9 – Gift of Gold

    I know not why Clandra do this. I speak to her in Jiyyd, and talk turn to bard college, Zyphlin, and how I ask help him look for things taken by the Evil Men. Then she gives me gift of more gold than know how to count.

    It was enough for buy shield, armor, and axe from Maythor. Is well made, as mountain folk do, but not his best work. Even with pile of gold, best work is much more coin, but I am happy, to have weapons and steel to fight again.

    I never get along with Clandra much, when serve in Peltarch. She is very mix up, and seem to play with words and people easily. I feel now, debt of honor for her, and it make feel uncomfortable. I wonder if gift of gold have string attach, hidden behind words of giving. I speak to Natanya about, and she say will be guide in this.

    It is nice to have friend like Natanya. I know heart, and can trust without question. I can see in eyes how she has grown since the bad place, and has much wisdom for guide others. I see sad in eyes though, and wish could make better, but know is not up to me.

    Jiyyd was attack few days later by Orc and Bugbear, some very good warrior. I had honor of face many, and fight beside friend, old and new. Was woman there of Uthgar, wife of Zoma name Ragnhild. Is worshipper of Uthgar like Maya very long ago, and is very good with spear. See her was like bring small piece of home to Jiyyd. We drink together and laugh, and poke little fun at Drelan, who is great merchant swordsman that beat us both.

    Entry 10 – Gift of Steel

    I was play game with men of Jiyyd, to see who could throw rock farthest. Was all have fun and laugh. Wolf win easily all time, and think maybe being woods person practice throwing rocks. Keira make ask if this is what fight for, and I tell for people laugh and enjoy life, answer is yes.

    Then get vision

    I see raven, so many that block out sun. They fly through Jiyyd, fly through people, and head west. I think is funny how I can see, and other do not. Tempus always lead me to battle, so I tell others and they follow.

    We get to cross roads, and ravens circle there. I remember one come close and ask “Who Maya serve?”

    “Tempus” I answer

    Another comes close and ask again. I yell Tempus so loud people back up. Is then I feel great weight on shoulder, like feel when learn become captain or Black Dragon, but this so much bigger legs give way, and I fall to knees. I yell Tempus again, rise to feet, because know in heart Tempus will not have champion on knees.

    …and world change.

    I am in strange place. Is all white. Is celestial guard of Tempus there. I feel like know him, but cannot place. When he speaks, is like swords in the wind.

    He tell me my Steel awaits, but I must earn. I must earn alone. Then he say to follow the messenger.

    …and world change again. I am back with friends. I tell them must go alone, and when look up, see lone raven. So I follow.

    Raven take me to north, and far east of Peltarch. Many hobgoblin in way, but for some reason cannot touch me. Everything in way must die. Everything.

    I walk to the Icelace, and see wave on shore, then hear voice behind. I look and is woman. When get close, I question who is, and she laugh and tell go away. Then I see evil in eyes….

    …and she wear Maya armor
    …and she wear sacred gloves of Tempus
    …and belt from great knight of Tempus hundred years ago
    …and axe of giants is on back

    I ask once for give back, but know in heart are empty words. I am ashame of empty words. She is of people that bring back and torture.

    We will settle. Tempus way.

    I remember get angry. I remember everything see turn white. Everything must die.

    Everything

    I remember her say, “So much for conversation”, but after that, all remember was knock her sword away until she cannot bring up to defend self, and behead.

    I remember stand there for longest time. I have feeling of world be light, and glimpse of wings, before everything get heavy again, and fall to knees. Then, I take all thing of mine that Maya earn, and Tempus take the rest.

    I sit here now in room in Sisterhood, feel be with Tempus, and know I am for him. My strength return. My axe beside. My faith in self restore.

    I feel like Maya again.


  • Entry 8 – Gift of Life

    I think much on make pleasures and gift of life, and speak to Natanya about in quiet time near Jiyyd commons. We talk about things each want in man. We talk some about love, and about children.

    I always have much regret about not be able to give Adam son, but pirate take away gift of life on ship. When Tempus remake me in Peltarch one day, am without gift of life then too. With so much blood and death by Maya hands, perhaps should not be surprised.

    Not so in tribe of Griffon, but some tribe have custom that only warrior that can leave camp for raid or for battle must have child. I think much on this, about balance of give life before take life, and about how child must be sad if lose father. But it also mean that strong warrior leave life behind, to make another strong warrior, to girl to grow into woman to give life again.

    I wonder then who I leave behind. Is no one.

    I look in mirror each day now, and wait for gray hair, but not see. Is no scar, no feet of crow around eye. Am always the same. Even scar from slavery never go away. Will Maya go from battle to battle, never end in name of Tempus? Will all friend go away, and turn to dust while Maya watch?

    Maybe is best if not have child, but arms ache every day for hold one that can call own. Though pray for answer, is gift I think, even beyond Tempus.


  • Entry 7 - Revelation

    I cannot do this. I cannot become Divine Shield.

    I think on this much, and find sudden decision. Keira calls it “epiphany”. Nicahh calls is “Revelation”. Is all fancy word for sudden decide, when bolt of lightning give idea.

    This has all been test of faith from Tempus.

    After return, Tempus want see what Maya do with self. To see if champion still exist somewhere inside. I almost fail. I was willing to let god of rising sun be sponsor. I was willing to work for law and good so could be with old friends, and be better shield mate to Natanya. Was willing to put belief of what is good aside, for belief of other. Was even willing to let other teach.

    I already know what is good in heart.

    It begin happen when duel with Natanya. Natanya say want to spar, and is out of practice, so I happy agree. We get down to arena, and she pray.

    She pray for glory of Tyr to protect
    She pray for glory of Tyr to give strength
    She pray for glory of Tyr, to guide sword, and strike Maya down

    …and she did.

    I think on that much last night. It was not spar. It was duel for Natanya to see if could beat Maya, and test for Maya if can face be humble. I know in heart that Natanya fail lesson from Hall of Pride. Even Koreth never pray for favor of Tyr when train men, except to heal, so can train harder. I also know in heart that I fail lesson from Hall of Pride too when almost give up. Both have too much pride to face lose.

    Now I learn.

    When leave arena and go by fire, I suddenly see Barrim. Was like Tempus guide him there, for give message. We speak much on Tempus, and agree that soon I will come to Peltarch, and together we will pray in Shrine. That is where belong. I belong to Tempus.

    I also belong with children. I think on that much too. How can protect children feel so right?

    Other part of Epiphany was figure out why. Tempus is about battle. Tempus about balance. Both good and evil. Battle is for both. I am for good, some for evil. All fight for glory in Tempus name.

    But battle have balance too. Attack and Defense. Destroy and Protect. Maya is about Protect. Was in front of me whole time. Good and Evil. Attack and Protect. How can be so blind?

    I go over whole life, and just realize just now. I become Black Dragon because Tempus say must do. I become Black Dragon to protect. I become Defender, to protect city of Peltarch. I become Captain of Norwick militia to protect Norwick. I even always protect Jiyyd. And now, after reborn, I protect children.

    I will gain strength here in Sisterhood, and work with Barrim to protect children when Orc come. I learn from Barrim and Eowien, who are study in ways of Tempus. I will teach Barrim, because I know Tempus in heart. It will be long journey. Have lost much, and know will keep lose until strong again.

    But I must try. I am for Protect. I am for Good. I am for Tempus.