Malachai Flint, Glittering smile, filthy mouth
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In his own words…
What the fack do yer want ter know about that for? Umberlee's snatch but yer a nosey wanker. Well before i roll yer fer that dandy lookin waistcoat and then dump yer in tha docks fer her majesty ah suppose ah could ramble on about tha shitehole that is my past. I grew up in some facking pissant backwater shitehole so poor that the assholes that lived there couldn' afford a fackin name fer tha place. Ran away when I was, fack knows, maybe six? Hoppe the first bucket outta that festering puckered wound on tha face o Toril. O' course bein six on a ship is no fackin' picnic. Ah could give yer details but frankly it'd take too long and I'm eager ter get ter tha bit where yer end up dead and I end up richer. Well until I drink it all.
flashes a grin showing that the front tooth on the left side and the three behind it down the left have all been replaced with diamonds
Well, o course ah got off tha fackin wreck at tha first decent sized port, musta been a year later, long voyage for fack all money and a diet o' weevils. O course I left that ship wi' well more than my share o' the profits, but I never was much fer honesty. Gut'em loot'em and throw'em ter tha Queen, as yer about ter find out, mate.
Joined up with a less reputable crew if yer catch ma drift. Much more suited ter my moral standpoint. Villainous scum tha lot o' tha wankers. What tha fack more do yer need ter know?
Oh, why i'm in this pestilent fackin pus-ridden knife wound on tha shore o' tha icelace? Well apart from the fun o' killin yer an takin yer money ah kind of got left. I was drunk an passed out with some woman whos name ah did'n catch when ma ship left port. Tha bitch had stole my swords too, so I suppose i ought ter find her and show her why folk don' mess wi sea folk grins So, wandered down to the only place round here more of a shiting hole than the so called facking jewel o' tha icelace. Jewel? Jewel my fat maiden aunts slime drenched fanny! Anyway, followed this big fella in plate down to the pustule that they call Norwick, he had the prettiest thing with him, I'd get her name if I could, an' more than that grins In any case, I bought these swords an' some heavier armour.
No, I'm not wearin the armour, wha' tha hell der yer take me for? Like I'd need armour to deal with a fackin' soft shite like you? Anyway, back to the swords, here's one. An' here's the other. And I'll take that, and that, and that, the rest the Bitch can have along wi' yer carcass my friend. splash
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Reviewed - XP Pending.
