3. A Quest for Tyr - Kara Willendt's Diary

A Quest for Tyr - Kara Willendt's Diary


  • ((OOC - Hee hee. I'll try to remember that next time. But before you get too interested in me, I think you should talk to Reginald and ask him what it's like to be hunted by an angry elf named Braeth… 😉 ))

    Entry 81 –

    I moved back to Norwick. The town was my home for about a year when I had first come to Narfell, and I felt that I should try to help out the town. I heard the militia needs members, as usual, so I plan to talk to Gulir as soon as I can.

    It was nice to be back in Norwick. Old friends seemed to appear out of thin air to greet me. And some new friends also. There was this nice woman named Jenna Joydancer. She’s a friend of Kanen’s actually. She seems to be a very nice person to know, very happy. And she should be, she’s a priestess of Lliira after all! I also met a paladin of Sune, called Magenta. Of course, she loved my red hair. Everybody loves my hair, perhaps it truly is a blessing. Let’s see, I also met a cleric of Torm by the name of Leon. He seemed a nice fellow.

    But the big shock was Fishel! He’s returned to Narfell! I couldn’t contain my joy at seeing him. He was such a good friend to me, even when though I seemed to bring him so many headaches. I pulled him aside into the inn and we had a nice chat about what was going on in each of our lives. He had left so suddenly because Valerie was sick. They decided to raise a family, and did have a son. But the birth had complications and Valerie had died. I then told Fishel about everything that happened to me when he left. He was quite worried about the state he left me in. He was happy to hear that I’ve overcome my problems and am doing well. As well as a girl can be with a Red Wizard tormenting her friends…

  • ?

    Ahhh….my lovely. I am called Caldor THE Great. Be sure to stress the "THE."

    You must forgive Caldor...my charms can at times overpower one's senses and one may not be able to deal with it. I know I am irrisistable, so do not be afraid to let your wants and desires show. You must realize how fortunate you are, that of all the women in the camp, I chose YOU to speak with. Many ladies would give up anything for such an experience.

    I shall fill your dreams for many nights to come, my delicate flower. 😉


  • Entry 80 –

    I saw Reginald and Wilhelm today. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Reginald. I must admit that I was missing him. Unfortunately, I didn’t get much of a chance to talk to him. He did like the armor Coin gave me though. I also met this one person by the name of Caldor. Calls himself “Caldor the Great.” Talk about annoying. Sure, I don’t mind having a few compliments on my appearance, but he was down right annoying. At least Reg has some class…

    Afterward, I was talking to Kanen. A little bird then fluttered down with a note for me. Braeth wanted to meet me at the theatre. So I went there, with Kanen escorting me. When I finally was let into the back room, I found Braeth in a meeting with Coin, Adam Bromley, Chaelvin, and Kashan. Kashan is an old friend of Braeth’s. Chaelvin was talking about some magical orb that let to the downfall of an ancient civilization. I wonder if this is related to the weapon of power that Vashere talked about.

    Unfortunately, the meeting was just ending. I can’t say that I understand why Braeth needed me there. It would have been nice if I could have gotten some kind of explanation.

    Kashan then got a message that Anselem was in trouble. Seems he wandered into some giants. So we went to rescue him, picking up Reginald along the way. Anselem was alright, and the others decided to repay the giants for their “diplomacy” toward our friend. Man, giants are huge, ugly brutes. Amazingly strong though. At one point, I saw one giant slam his palm into Adam’s chest. He fell down dead, his chest reduced to a bloody mess of flesh and broken bones. We returned to the city with his body and had him raised at the Temple of Tyr.

    Boy, those giants are scary.


  • _((OOC - Just thought I'd mention this little tidbit. A couple of weeks ago when Kara was still "Anti-Kara," I had heard this song by a group called Evanescence, titled "Bring Me To Life." First of all, I feel in love with the song because it rocks and has a great ethereal quality to the vocals. Secondly, the lyrics blew me away. If the "good" part of Kara could have broken free of "Anti-Kara" for a bit to send a message to Braeth, I think they would have mirrored the lyrics of this song. Anyways, this is a great band and I highly suggest you all check them out. Album comes out 3/4/2003.

    And on a side note: Notice whenever Kara gets better, things around her get worse?))_

    Entry 79 –

    Went on another dreamtrip with Kanen and Wilhelm today. This one was not so pleasant though. We found out that Devon had captured Jade’s soul way back when he had kidnapped her, and now he recently acquired Seven’s soul. Which means they are like Steele, walking about without realizing they’ve had their souls stripped from them.

    Quite depressing when you think about it.

    However, I refuse to give up hope. It may be harder to see it, but I can’t give it up. If any of us gives up hope, then we have lost. This is a dark time we are entering. But the blacker the dark, the brighter the light of hope shines. Like stars in the sky, let the hope of all the good people around me shine and allow it’s light to lead us to victory.

    I also have Cera to worry about. She says that she will go “boom.” As I understand her, the flow of magic goes into her, but is not leaving her. She’s building up magical energy and it’s only a matter of time until it consumes her. I keep telling her not to give up hope.

    Do I have enough hope for everybody?


  • Entry 78 –

    I decided to go visit Norwick today. I wanted to see how the place was doing, and possibly talk to Gulir. I’m not sure if I will move there, but I felt that I should at least look into the idea and start making contacts. The trip was pretty uneventful. Just one bandit attacked me, quite unsuccessfully.

    When I arrived, there was a big fuss happening near the well. Something about a naked elf acting like a spoiled little child, casting magic which thus causes wild magic backlashes, and all sorts of complications arising from that.

    I met some old and new friends while I was there. Earawien, Xixia, Redjack, Cera, Jorg. Yes, Cera was there. Katya wanted to know what was going on in Norwick. I think Cera wishes she didn’t go, because of that wild magic. It makes the many voices of Mojo in her head louder. Redjack, I can tell, is a man who likes to woo the ladies. Not that he got far with me. I’m already taken.

    Besides the craziness with that naked elf, there isn’t a lot to really write about. But the town did seem to be in some disorder. Makes me think that I should return to Norwick.


  • Entry 77 –

    Again, voices in my head. At least this time proved to be beneficial. The day started out with a voice calling out to me to meet Kanen in the Gypsy Pass. So I sat by one of the bonfires. Then I started to hear Kanen’s voice in my head. Boy, was he surprised. And then Wilhelm too.

    Soon we had gathered with each other, and then met the one who called us all together. He looked like a ghost, half-transparent. Kanen sensed a dark aura in the man… or phantom… whatever. The man wanted to tell and show us something. He spoke about Devon. We all agreed to go on a dreamtrip.

    We found ourselves on a boat. A large tiger named Jarra approached us and spoke to us. Kanen, of course, was still flipping out. Wilhelm was calm as he’s done similar things as this dreamtrip, and I have been dragged along on a trip with Yohan. The boat docked, and we all got disembarked. Jarra led us to a set of ruins and told us to wait for the “master.” I thought it was going to be Devon, but I was wrong.

    After waiting a few minutes, a voice called out for us to come to a gate. We stumbled around and finally noticed a bridge, and on that bridge was a gate. The gate opened and this gigantic demon stood there and told us to follow it. It lead us through a winding path and stopped at a campfire near a cliff edge, and told us to wait there. And so we waited for another minute or so and the man that gathered us back in the camp approached us. And this time he was dressed in black.

    Well spoke the words “A man in black…” I suddenly remembered Yohan’s latest riddle. The man then introduced himself as Caleb. The Caleb. As in Jade’s dead husband, Caleb. He asked if he could give us some history.

    Caleb told us about Devon’s past, which I can assure you is quite disturbing. He sacrificed his own family for power over death. Not just their lives, but their very souls! And he’s needing more. Like Jade’s. And Seven’s. And mine… And right now Devon is gathering a large army of undead. Oh, and I asked about the amulet. Devon wanted it because he’s also collecting artifacts to fuel the spell for immortality along with the souls he’s captured. Funny thing is that he can’t touch the little thing. End result though, is that two souls are free now, Yohan and Alexandria.

    After the dreamtrip, I saw Coin and Cera. Coin gave me a suit of full plate armor! Braeth also stopped by briefly. I told Braeth of the dreamtrip. After he left, I sat and talked with Coin about some problems I’m starting to see in Braeth. Braeth’s disregard for the law is really starting to both annoy me and worry me.

    Cera’s starting to feel better. I’ll continue to pray for her. Hmmm… lots of people to pray for. Cera, Braeth, Meril, Seven, Jade, Caleb…


  • Entry 76 –

    Huzzah! I’m all better and out of the temple! Not that I don’t like the Temple of Tyr, just that I was really starting to get a bit antsy at not seeing my friends for a while. So it was with great joy that I left the temple with Braeth and headed over to the Alliance outpost for a council meeting.

    I think I would have rather NOT attended that meeting…

    Each time we have one of these council meetings since Vashere left, I keep seeing a side of Braeth that is truly starting to bother me. The utter disrespect he has for Law and Order is like a slap in the face to me. I am perfectly comfortable with the idea that there are some times that Law can be wrong, and unjust. But he takes it to an extreme. I almost wonder if he thinks the only solution to problems are to handle it outside the law because it’s “quicker” or “easier.” The fast and easy path is not necessarily the correct one. I think Braeth’s attitude is pissing off Kanen too.

    What especially scares me is the fact that Braeth is now head of the Daggers, and with this attitude. I sorely wish Vashere never left. I keep muttering that to myself in these meetings.

    Afterward, I returned to the gyspy camp and found Cera. She thought I was angry at her for my amulet breaking! Doesn’t she know that she is so much more important to me than that amulet? I told her how I was away because I was healing my spirit and returning to my gods favor. She was happy to know I’m all better.

    An interesting man then approached us. Wilhelm and Kanen mentioned this man at the council meeting. He's got blue hair and wears blue. And seems to know a lot about others, including myself. Which is a bit freaky. His name is Trey, and he comes from Thay, which makes me even more concerned. But after a while of talking to him, I’ve decided not to totally discount him.

    The big reason why I feel a little better about Trey being so interested in Cera is because he apparently has the same ability to rift. He calls it “planewalking.” He wants to teach Cera how to control her ability. She’s agreed. I must say I agree too.

    Imphras drew an interesting mural on a cliff wall. It was a picture of the small group of us gathered. Imphras (I assume it was the man with the crown, by process of elimination), Cera (person with a big, black cat, almost blurred together), Coin (big, strong man), Trey (man with swirls all over him), and myself (he used blood to make my red hair).


  • Entry 75 –

    Okay, today wasn’t as relaxing as it should have been, but it still was pretty good.

    I began to hear a thundering in my head. Within the thunder I could make out two voices. The first was a harsh and cruel male voice, the second a gentle female. It was very hard to make out what the voices were saying, they were very distorted. The male voice said something about a “damned…” hmm… I remember “mur” and “ca…” Something about Seven and “dead.” The female voice seems to ask “What can we do?” Almost sounded like she suggested sending assassins to have somebody killed, perhaps Seven? The male voice then replied very harshly about him becoming a god and something about eternal sleep. After that, the voices and thunder faded away.

    Over all, a bit disturbing. The male voice has to be Devon. I have no doubt about it. Elf and Seven… Perhaps Jade is the elf? I do recall that Devon wants both Jade and Seven. But who is the female voice?

    I’d like to say that was all, but it wasn’t. I then had a visit from Yohan. That really shocked me. Of course, my vision went blurry. But I’m used to that. Then my body felt cold, really cold. I couldn’t stop shaking, shivering from the cold I felt. I fought off the shakes, but my right arm became numb. I could hear Yohan calling to me, “Amulet Girl…” I wonder if he realizes I have lost the amulet. He told me that Devon is very close to his domination of life. He said many have died, and many more will die, including close friends. I pray that Alton has not sold what was left of that amulet to Devon. Or if he has, I hope it is useless without the beads we have. I asked Yohan what can be done, and he replied with another of his damned riddles. “The man in black…the dragon....the dragon has the key...the man in black has the answer...”

    He then said that his master was coming. I then felt a hand at my neck, and then tracing down my back and up it again. It lingered on my neck as a voice whispered into my ear. Such dirty and unclean suggestions it made, yet the voice was gentle. Then I felt the hand on my thighs, making me feel uncomfortable. I then heard a laughter. The cold then lifted and my eyesight returned. My arm gained it’s feeling again, though a little numbness seemed to linger.

    I resumed my praying, though my mind kept wandering back to what happened. Luckily Braeth walked in, offering a good distraction for me. Well, sort of. I did go and tell him what I heard from the voices and Yohan. But it was still nice to see him. I rarely get visitors.

    I’m still bothered by one thing though. Why is it that my mind seems to be so… open? Why is it that I have spirits easily contacting me, or people? I’ve had Yohan contact me, that woman that Devon used, she spoke to my mind, and Sir Wulf’s spirit had contacted me when he had died, and then the hissing voices that tempted me, and now I hear a conversation that was most likely from Devon?

    I do have one theory. Could the Elven Bond I had with Braeth somehow had a side effect? Could it have made my mind more open to spirits and the thoughts of others? I wonder…


  • Entry 74 –

    My stay at the temple has been quite relaxing. It is nice to not have to worry about everything. Most of my day is comprised of praying and meditation. I do try to help out with the place every now and then, like keeping it clean, though the High Priestess would rather I just rest and concentrate on my healing. Can’t help myself though, I feel like I need to do something to repay their hospitality.

    Killthorn mentioned to me that I really made Tyr happy. It seems there has not been a lot to be happy about. I will say I’ve noticed that there is a good amount of suffering and evil afoot. He also asked what I planned to do when I’ve fully healed. I do plan to stick with the Alliance, but I also won’t be just sitting on my butt like I was before. I’ve got to get involved, try to actively make a difference in this land. My first option is to help out the militia in Norwick. I know Gulir, and I’m sure he’d be glad to have my help. He was wanting it before, but I had just moved out of Norwick. My other option would be to help out Peltarch. This actually could fit into the plans we had of the Alliance helping out the city guard. Only problem with this is that I know Braeth would not be happy if I moved to the city.

    I would have to fall for a ranger, eh?

    I also got to spend some time with High Priestess Millerne. She is a very kind woman, very caring. She let me go outside today and get some fresh air. It was really nice to get out and see the sky. Even if it did start raining shortly afterward. The High Priestess talked about the renovations of the temple. Come to find out there are some walls that actually had rooms beyond them. They had been closed off because they became unused and then inhabited by something, she didn’t say what. But now those inhabitants have been cleared out and basically Killthorn is working on getting the closed off sections cleaned up. I can hardly wait to see the results.

    I must admit I do miss my friends and worry some for Cera, but the High Priestess says I really should just concentrate on myself and making sure I get better. I know she’s right. I guess I have my father’s habit of worrying too much about loved ones. I’ll be all better soon, so I’m going to really not let my worries get to me. Better that I rejoin my friends as a whole person.

    Well, back to my prayers.


  • Congrats again, Kara! ^.^ I've goota thank anyone who goes trhough all these stories…quite the subtraction from Narf time going through them all I should think,,, ^,^ But YAY for Kara anand YAY for Monkey for going through it.


  • Hee hee. Well, it's not nearly as much as I suspect I could have earned. There is a cap after all, which I fully expected. I'll say that the XP got me to level 5. YES, I'M FINALLY LEVEL 5!!!!

    (for those who are curious, I've been playing Kara for a little under 3 months)


  • ((OOC - I haven't asked a DM for my XP yet, but I just want to say right now that you get BIG KUDOS from me for being brave enough to read and rate all this, Monkey. I hope you enjoyed it. 🙂 ))

  • M

    Reviewed, finally. XP pending.


  • Entry 73 –

    He forgives me! Tyr forgives me! He’s accepted me back. I’m so happy. I feel like I’m back as my whole self now.

    I suppose I should start at the beginning.

    Katya came up to me, with tears in her eyes. She was very distraught. My heart sank when she told me what was wrong.

    Cera had been taken captive by Atol.

    Katya told of how Cera tried to sneak into Atol’s cave. Katya had tried to put a spell on Atol so that he’d be feeble and weak, but it failed and Cera was caught. I couldn’t believe it. Cera was trying to get my amulet back! It pained me to think that she was in danger because of me. Just thinking of what Atol may be doing to Cera made my blood boil. I swear I heard a voice whispering to me, urging me to calm down. It startled me so much that I did calm down.

    Braeth, Coin, Kanen, and Amissa were with me, and we all decided to go. We tried to see if we could find a person skilled in traps, as the traps in the cave devastated us the last time we were there. Alas, we could find none so we went and hoped for the best.

    Entering Atol’s cave brought shivers down my spine as I remembered the events of the last time I was here. We went ahead cautiously, recalling the traps and bandts. Oddly, we saw no bandits and there wasn’t as many traps as we recalled. Still, it was slow progress. At one point I recalled the corridor we were in, it was the place Fishel had fallen. And just beyond that was where I fell. Not a pleasant memory.

    After many hours, we finally found ourselves standing before Atol. I’ve briefly seen the man before when he attacked Norwick many, many months ago, but never had a good look at him. So it felt like I was meeting this villain for the first time. Even so, I could not help but hate this man who has caused so much pain to others, to Cera, to me…

    He began to ask me questions about the amulet. He thought I was just here for the amulet. True, I’d love it back, but I came here for Cera. I probably would never have returned to this cave if she wasn’t captured. He also mentioned Devon had made an offer for it. Devon… I could feel anger building in me as my fear was becoming reality. A red haze started to cloud my vision. Something in me made me realize that I’d only get myself killed, though, and I let the anger leave me.

    Atol took us back to see Cera, and asked me which was more important. Which would I rather have, Cera or the amulet. Was one life worth more than the many that would suffer if Devon got it? Such a painful choice. Cera means so much to me because I mean so much to her. I’m her “Mommy.” But that amulet mustn’t fall into Devon’s hands. I exchanged a few words with Atol about the amulet and sacrificing a life for the many. In the end, he left with the amulet, realizing that his suspicions of it being more than a mere trinket was correct.

    It hurt seeing the amulet go, but I was relieved to have Cera back. I pray that Atol think the amulet is worth more to him than it does to hand it over to Devon.

    Unfortunately, she was not well. Delirious from torture, her control of her magic became unstable. All of us were getting assaulted by blasts of magic. Even Atol. He was quite surprised in fact, as he got a full blast in his face. Coin and I immediately went to Cera and talked to her, trying to calm her down. It was scary to see silver crackles of energy course around her body.

    As I tended to Cera, I heard a whisper in the cavern. The voice was so familiar, but definitely not the hissing whisper that haunted me before. This voice was soothing. “A choice was made… the greater good… over… the individual…” And then quietly, “I forgive you Kara…”

    In my heart, in my soul… I knew it was Tyr that spoke to me.

    The voice urged me to take Cera back home and make her safe and then quieted. I quickly told everyone to get going. Braeth, however, decided to check something. He examined a scorch mark in the floor where Atol was blasted. The cruel man had apparently disappeared after he was blasted. He searched the floor, looking for something I suppose. I bent down to help, wondering what was going on in his mind. He noticed something, quickly grabbing what he saw. I didn’t get a good look, but I thought they were some beads. As we were leaving, he mentioned what he found. I was right, they were beads. Suddenly a thought hit me, and I asked him to show me the beads.

    They were from my amulet. I wonder if the amulet will work correctly without them. I imagine the magic was contained in the main crystal though, so it’s a small hope to think it is useless now.

    We returned to the Gypsy Pass, where Katya was waiting for our return. She was overjoyed that Cera was brought back. Coin and Katya brought Cera to the Tree to rest. Braeth sat by the fire, pondering what happened. I could hear him muttering about Atol and wondering what happened to him. I’ll admit I had the same thoughts, but I put them aside. I had more pressing concerns.

    I needed to go to Peltarch, to the Temple of Tyr. Braeth was happy at the thought of going to Peltarch, he is a true ranger at heart, but he understood that I needed to go to the temple. He and Kanen escorted me to the city, and I left them at the gate and made my way to the temple.

    Once inside, I met Killthorn Tal, a paladin of Tyr. I met this man briefly many, many months ago, but I swear he looked different now. He looked much older than what I remember. He greated me, and was expecting me. He led me in the other room, where I found myself before Tyr himself.

    Tyr appeared as a point of light. It was a powerful presence I felt, I couldn’t help but feel some fear. More like an awe at the power that was before me. Tyr asked me why I had strayed, to which I replied that I let anger consume me and control me, clouding my judgements. He told me I had chosen the good of the many over the good of the individual, and thus I earned his forgiveness and healing for the pain I’ve been through. He bid me to return to him. I couldn’t help but give a few tears of joy, and gladly welcomed Tyr back into my heart.

    I recall a story my mother once told of a little boy who had disobeyed his mother by straying from his path and gotten lost in the woods. He faced many dangers, but soon found his way back to the path and soon returned home.

    I have found my path. I am now home.

    I shall be staying at the temple for a while. I’ll be doing a lot of praying and also doing a lot to help the temple in its services. It’ll mean that I’ll be separated from my friends, but I don’t mind. I’m me again, and that is what matters.


  • Entry 72 –

    The day was a mostly relaxing day. A bard named Meril stopped by the gypsy camp. We decided to go to Peltarch. I needed to get out for a bit. And I thought it’d be nice to spend some time with people other than my usual friends. Plus he mentioned Karli wanted to see me.

    Thanks to a spellsong to make us invisible, we had no trouble making it to Peltarch. We met up with Karli who was in the Dancing Mermaid Inn. She was there with an elf named Sii'olmen, Sil for short, who is a minstrel. There was also this strange man who was naked. He finally left after we told him to get some clothes. Karli looks like she is much happier than when we last meet very long ago. Back then she was quite upset and troubled with her faith. Now she’s in service of Sune and looks like she’s going to be having a child soon.

    Actually, there is great irony here. Now I’m the one lacking of a god’s favor and she has found hers.

    Then, of course, she suddenly realized something else. “Oh…are you that Kara?” she asks. Upon hearing that question, I knew that the whole situation with Braeth and Reg will haunt me forever. To further my embarrassment, she also asked if the moustache was “nice.” I did my best to not let the situation bother me. I was actually going to tell her the whole story, but with all the interruptions I never got the chance. Interruptions like that strange man suddenly attacking Sil.

    We also noticed that Meril seems to have a little thing going for Alannia, as he was saying her name in his sleep. After he woke up though, he denied it to Karli and then even said he already had a love. Karli was quite surprised.

    So I stayed overnight at the theatre, Meril was kind enough to let me, and then returned to the Gypsy Camp. I found Coin and Cera sitting with each other in the gathering circle in the camp. They both were in a good mood. We all went for a walk. Coin asked Cera if she still had a shield they found, but she didn’t. It was a “Shield of the Faithful” according to Coin. I guess such a thing will be of use to me when I do return to Tyr’s favor.

    We then found Kanen sitting by a fire in the Gypsy Pass. His duel with Salina went in his favor, of course. He still seems to be very sad about something though. He told me that he and Cila had broken up a while ago. It seems she had lied to him about how she really felt. She did to Kanen what I did to Reginald, basically. He also had news that the Temple of Tyr was going to set a section aside for the Order of Paladins. We talked about other various things, Braeth, Wil and Jade, Devon, my amulet…

    My amulet… I’ll be honest. I do wish I had it back in my possession. It held, and still holds, great personal importance to me. But I now realize I was foolish in thinking I needed it so badly. Yes, it was a symbol of hope to me, but I still have hope without it. But Atol has it now I do fear that man greatly. On one hand, it’s probably safe in his possession, as I doubt Devon’s minions will be able to forcefully take it from him. On the other hand, I fear Devon making a deal with Atol for it.

    At least I won’t willingly give it over. Perhaps I should retrieve it. But I could be killed trying to do it, and I truly fear seeing that succubus of the Fugue plane again.

    Lucia came over. The three of us talked for a bit and the subject of the gnolls to the north came up. Kanen expressed a desire to see the gnolls, so I let him through the gypsy camp to have a look.

    Kanen and I decided to head in for the night. I slept for a little bit, but something was nagging me in the back of my mind. So I got up and wandered around for a bit. I figured I just needed to work out a little. I headed into the Hidden Pass to fight some spiders. Spiders don’t scare me like they used to. I still hate the little buggers though. After a little fighting, I ran into Cera and Coin. Cera wasn’t feeling good at all, as she was bitten by a bark spider. I remembered my near death at fighting one of those and recalled how the venom made my flesh feel like it was on fire.

    We returned to the Gypsy Pass, and Cera went off to rest and heal her body. Braeth arrived and he, Coin, and I talked for a bit about Sakura. Then a woman named Vani came over, and Braeth began to talk about the bandits and how we should be working at understanding them rather than just trying to persecute them. He, Coin, and Vani had a big debate about it. Janu and Call also came by and joined in on the discussion. I was getting tired however, and headed in for the night.

    And this time I finally did get a full nights sleep. Although I the dream wasn’t that great. For some reason, it involved watching Devon fight off some knights, decimating them with no problem.


  • Entry 71 –

    Sorry I didn’t write the other day. We did have a guild council meeting. It went well. Seven has joined us as the head of the Soldiers. Despite the fact that I have fallen out of favor with Tyr, they are all willing to have me stay as the head of the Temple. I honestly tried to stand down from it but they insisted I stay. I think they have confidence that I will regain my god’s favor.

    For the past couple of weeks I had been torn by guilt over what I did to Reginald. I kept wondering if he would ever forgive me. I couldn’t forgive me. Love is one of the ideals I’ve held in high regard, and I went and smashed it. Whenever I saw Reginald, my heart would sink. I couldn’t bear to look at him, knowing that I was a cause of great sadness.

    Wilhelm did try to comfort me, telling me that Reginald did forgive me. He told me that Reginald had just as hard of a time seeing me. I know Wilhelm was probably telling the truth, but still, it brought little comfort.

    I needed to hear it from Reginald.

    Cera and Coin both tried to get me to build up the courage to talk to Reginald. Coin offered that I should write a letter, and I did start one. See, here it is. “Dear Reginald.” Well, that’s as far as I got. I sat for a few minutes trying to think of what to write and drew blanks. Then Coin came over, crumpling up a note he just received by. Norwick was under attack. I quickly put away the letter and strapped on my armor, intending to go with Coin. Instead, Coin insisted that Cera and I stay at the camp and quickly left without us. I stayed, though I really wanted to go help. But I knew I was not much of a warrior, and without my spells there would be little else for me to do other than fight.

    So I turned around and saw Jade, Hugh, and Reginald. Again my heart sank. But Cera was there to give me a push, Mojo said that he and I need to talk. I knew Mojo was right. But I was so scared to approach him. Finally, I gathered my courage to ask.

    And thus we finally talked to each other for the first time since my confession to Reginald. Reginald forgives me.

    It’s like a weight has been lifted from me.

    After my chat with Reginald, I headed to the Gypsy Tree, thinking that Cera probably headed there to help out Katya as usual. Indeed she was there, but she didn’t look to good. She told me Coin had just been killed. Remembering what it was like to feel your Bonded soulmate die, I immediately went to comfort her. I hugged her and had both of us pray for Coin’s return. Shortly after praying, she felt Coin was alive again. It was a relief, but short lived. A few minutes later, just after we left the Tree, she almost collapsed on me. Coin died AGAIN. I again held her, comforted her, told her not to give up hope. We prayed again.

    Then Imphras came over. We asked him to take us to Norwick, since that is where we last knew Coin to be. We told him that Coin had died. He agreed, but just before we left, Cera again felt that Coin was alive again. Imphras was understandably perplexed at how she could know this, but he has never experienced an Elven Bond before. We still decided to head to Norwick, if only to make sure Coin does not die again! Imphras proved to be a good escort, checking the road ahead for us and then signaling to us when it was clear.

    We found Coin in the Friar’s house. He was raised by Amissa. She told me of how bandits had attacked the town and that many people had been killed. They brought another war machine with them. Damn those bandits. At least the town won in the end, but it looks to be at a heavy price.

    I talked with the others, for a little while. I met one new person, named Xixia. She’s certainly a very attractive woman and knows it. Flaunts it too. But, I do have to agree with her philosophy. “Easier to go through life being happy rather than sad.” There’s wisdom to that. Imphras also mentioned about those Pretenders. I told him how they were evil, manipulative liars that tried to sway me from Tyr.

    Ironic, isn’t it? They failed to take me from Tyr, but I did it to myself so easily. At least I’ve seen the light and wish to return to him.

    As I was heading to my room in the Inn, I noticed Coin looking quite glum. He asked me if he was a failure. He thought himself powerless. Can’t say I blame him for feeling that way. Two deaths in a row? I told him that he was not a failure nor powerful. Figuring that he felt weaker from being raised twice, I decided to tell him how he was powerful in ways other than his body. I pointed out how he loves Cera and how she loves him. “Love is powerful thing. Thus if you love, then you share it’s power.” I also pointed out how I was not a powerful warrior, yet others see me as a strong person. I always would wonder why they think I’m strong, and now realize it. I’m strong because of my love for friends, family, life. I have a strong heart and it shows.

    Coin appreciated my words. I felt great satisfaction in that. Though I may not be granted Tyr’s blessings, I still am able to help people.


  • Entry 70 –

    I finally confessed to Reginald at what I had done to him. I'm so ashamed at taking his heart and smashing it to pieces. The guilt I have over this is overwhelming. I hope he can forgive me.

    I can't forgive myself.

    It didn't help that Hugh had walked up while I was confessing. Not that Hugh isn't a nice man, but he tends to be a bit naive and can ask the wrong questions. And when Braeth walked up, I really started to dread. Thankfully, Braeth only said he forgave Reginald and was sorry for mistreating him.

    Will Reginald ever forgive me?

    Braeth comforted me afterward. I'm amazed he can still love me after what I did, but I'm glad he does. We decided to go visit Norwick, see how the town has been fairing since we left. Not much has really changed. I did receive a big surprise though. As we walked around trying to find old friends, I saw a strange girl with pink hair. Yes, PINK. She then bounced over to Braeth and I, hugging each of us and calling us Granpa and Granma.

    Somehow, I was staring into the face of a grown up Sakura.

    I know it doesn't make sense when you think about it at first. Cera's daughter, Sakura, had been stillborn because of the magics of the well. But I remember she at one point pretended that Sakura was still alive, and mentioned pink hair. Considering that, and Cera's ability to rift, I didn't discount the possibility that somehow a Sakura could visit us. The best that I and Call can tell, she seems to be seventeen years into the past, AND also in a different… well, I suppose plane would be the best word. I mean, if this was the Sakura of our future, she wouldn't exist, so she has to be from an alternate reality.

    By Tyr that sounds so far fetched. But when it comes to Cera, I've learned to expect the strange.


  • _((OOC - Well, yeah, I think it is probably over for Reg. If Braeth didn't seem so willing to take Kara back, she probably would stick with Reg though. But so far, Braeth has said he both forgives her and still loves her.

    But she is SO dreading confessing to Reg. She will, but she dreads it all the same.))_

    Entry 69 -

    Coin was glad to see me doing better. I had decided to wear the other outfit I bought at Peltarch, and he gave a nice compliment on it. While we discussed the two outfits I owned and whether I still wanted the more revealing outfit, Adam Bromley approached us.

    He first asked if we knew anything about a certain symbol, a snake on a crest I think it was. I didn't know anything about it, but Coin mentioned something about those false gods, Cervejas and Kross. He also wondered if Jade was about, so I went and checked to see if she was at her shack but got no answer to my knocking on the door. I returned to Adam and let him know that she wasn't home, and noticed Piggu had arrived also.

    I had apologized to Adam for any mistreatment I may have given him the past couple of months that I let anger rule me. He said he never noticed, as he tries not to let others bring him down. I couldn't help but admire his optomistic attitude. Knowing that he was part of the Bardic Colledge and Theatre, I asked him to let Reginald know that I needed to see him. Adam disagreed at doing it because last he knew Braeth had still wanted to kill Reginald. I tried my best without going into detail that Braeth wasn't going to kill him.

    Braeth showed up and exchanged a few words with Adam and Coin about the situation of the love triangle I created. Braeth went away, followed shortly by Adam. Piggu and Coin both started to recite poetry, much to my enjoyment. I needed a good distraction from the guilt of this love triangle I created. Unfortunately, it was short lived, as Braeth returned with Jany and Chael'vin. It was funny to see the head of Spellweaver Keep sneaking about in the camp. It seems he's angered Sammie in a previous visit. Gypsies tend to hold grudges.

    Coin then decided to rile Braeth’s anger. They kept taunting each other, getting angrier at each other. The things they were saying, talking about me, my Anger, the way Braeth treated me during that dark time… I couldn’t stand to hear it. Both talking like they know what I was going through. Talking like they fully understood the Anger that gripped me. It was making me so furious. And the way Coin was attacking Braeth’s character made me even angrier. I kept yelling at them to stop because their bickering and fighting was angering me. But they wouldn’t listen, even attacked each other! Seeing Cera get so upset that she rifted away tipped me over the edge.

    I had to run away. If I stayed any longer, the Anger inside me certainly would have gotten out of control. I ran north and sat by a tree and took some deep breaths to calm myself. Thankfully, it only took a few minutes to regain my composure. I headed back, still intent on making the two idiots stop their fighting. I threatened them with not holding back this time.

    Then I saw Braeth start to break down emotionally. All the emotions he had kept hidden inside him let loose. I sat with Braeth and held him as he wept and cried out about losing his parents, about losing me, about how his mentor had told him to hold back his emotions. Braeth thought emotions were a sign of weakness. That’s not true. Emotions give us strength. It’s that strength that everybody sees in me. I held Braeth, comforted him, told him that he was strong for his emotions, told him not to dwell on the past.

    My words must have eventually sunk in after about a half an hour. He stood up and had the look of a person that has just opened his eyes for the first time. In this case, it was not his eyes that now were open, but his heart.

    And that’s when I realized what Coin had tried to do by his actions.

    I just hope he doesn’t try the same thing with me.

  • I

    ((aaahhh well, it was good while it lasted for ol Reggie. I have a feeling you were the best he ever had 😉 … heh))


  • Entry 68 -

    It’s amazing how you only realize what you’ve had when it’s gone.

    I found Cera’s dead body in the tree today, alongside Coin and Carnival’s bodies. I don’t know how they died. I knew Cera had disappeared into that magical land she can go into, but I just assumed she’d return at some point. But to see her dead in front of me? Even in my anger-maddened state, seeing her dead shook me up greatly.

    Cera was perhaps the only person I truly cared about while I had let myself be ruled by my hatred and anger. I started to panic, I needed Cera, as she was the only person I thought still cared for me no matter what, besides Reg. I checked the bodies to see how much gold there was, hoping there would be enough to have Cera Raised. Between their gold and mine, I didn’t even have enough to pay for the small diamond. I ran out of the tree and over to Jade and Wilhelm’s shack. I pounded my fists on the door, hoping they’d be home, but I received no response. Dejected, I returned to the tree and sat by the bodies.

    Katya noticed the bodies and I asked her to Raise Cera like she Raised me. It took a few minutes for it to register to the old woman, when she realized that Cera was her assistant who brought those spider eyes. Katya then asked me to do something that I feared to do. She asked me to pray to my god to give her strength to do the task.

    Pray? When I had fallen out of favor from my god? Inside, I could feel the old me stir. If I didn’t pray, Cera wouldn’t be able to return. For a moment, I could feel the good and bad sides of me fight for control. The good wanted to pray, and the bad feared doing it. In the end, my love for Cera won and I prayed.

    And Tyr answered. A messenger from Tyr appeared before me in a flash of light. She told me I had fallen away from Tyr’s path. Told me that I could not pray for others until I learned to pray for myself. Both her and Katya kept yelling at me to pray, to love myself and others… My head pounded in pain a few times as my mind tried to shake off the grip of the anger so that I may become myself again. I prayed. I confessed all, telling of how I let the anger control me, how I betrayed Braeth, how I used Reginald, how I was ashamed of myself. With each moment, my heart opened up and my feelings spilled forth. I could hear the voice of that messenger, prodding me with questions as I prayed.

    And then I looked up and saw Cera and Coin revived. I cried, glad that they came back. Glad that Tyr heard my prayers. I cried and talked with them, asking them to forgive me, telling of my sorrow at what I had done. Of course, they forgave me. Of course, they understood that I wasn’t acting like myself.

    I then thought I heard Braeth. I tried to find him, but didn’t see him. I knew I needed to see him, to both confess and apologize for what I had done. I thought I heard him again and spoke what I wanted to say knowing he was somewhere. Then he stepped out of the shadows and forgave me.

    He forgives me. Forgives and still loves me. It makes me so glad to know it. I’m still shocked that he does love me still. I betrayed him in the worst way a person could betray her mate.

    Of course, there’s Reginald to worry about. I betrayed him deeply as well, though he doesn’t realize it. I let the angry part of me use him for revenge and lust. He loves me very much, as much as Braeth did perhaps, and I just used him like a tool. I didn’t love him at the time. I loved him before, but not in the way he would have wished. I feel immense guilt for this.

    It’s going to crush him when I confess this to him.

    At least I can love and hope again. At least I don’t have the anger controlling me. The anger is part of me, but there is still something unnatural about it. The night I let it take over me, I felt something deep inside me, something that wanted to be unleashed. The fact that I had lightning arching around me when I was fully angered is also an indication that something supernatural is with this anger.

    But for now, I shall just worry about getting my life back. I have many friends I need to confess and as forgiveness from. And I also have to find some way to regain the favor of Tyr.

    The important thing is that Amara Cal’Nuik is back.