Goblin


  • Legion

    Most of the following was scrawled onto the walls of his legion Cell with … brown paint? The rest of it was written onto pieces of cloth or scraps of parchment.

    @b54f2b3742:

    Grobble is yellow.

    Grobble has orange spots.

    @b54f2b3742:

    Grobble does the being smart to not be dead.

    Secrets he eats the tongue that tells them

    Tonight Grobble shall eat horse for dinner maybe Yes

    Bow before Ghost Lady

    @b54f2b3742:

    Grobble does the writing for the making better of common through practicing.

    @b54f2b3742:

    A story by Grobble.

    Once upon the times there was a goblin whose name is being Grobble.

    He was doing the smart to not be dead. Other goblins be dead because Bugbear Overlord Master Krashu send us to fight and die.

    Krashu is brown. Krashu has hair in some places but not is hair in all places. Krashu laughs when goblin is die. Krashu send goblin to fight when knows will die and laughs because he likes to see goblin die.

    @b54f2b3742:

    One day Grobble did the staying alive by the be smart. Grobble knowed that being useful to Krashu would mean he not go to fight and be dead. Krashu is no counting so Grobble learns the numbers so when Krashu needs the counting Grobble is there with the knowing of numbers. Krashu is no reading so when Krashu needs reading Grobble is there with the knowing of letters. Grubble was best slave to Krashu ever. Grobble does the rubbing of the feets, and the shoulders, and the bursting of the boils. Krashu has important meet with other bugbear. Grobble is there to bring the drink and for them to beat for the making of laughing. Grubble was the best slave ever.

    @b54f2b3742:

    One day Krashu anger was being all day. Krashu is very anger. Grobble is throw by Krashu because of the cranky anger. Krashu say get out Gubble I am anger at yoo and yoo get out I kill yoo. Krashu makes all the goblin attack hoomuns on bridge. Grobble want to live and not being dead so Grobble used the being smart to not be dead. Grobble cuts string on bow and uses sheet from hoomun town as white flag for the waving. With the smart Grobble is know that the waving of the white flag is for the surrendering. So Grobble waits and at end of fight Grobble goes to hoomuns with the waving of the flag and with the saying of surrender. Hoomun says that if Grobble has no weapon and is saying surrender then is getting the mercy.

    @b54f2b3742:

    Bugbear who watches goblin to make sure they are attacking sees Grobble saying surrender. He tries to kill Grobble but hoomuns save Grobble with the killing of Bugbear. Grobble is happy. Hin hoomun tries to kill Grobble with spear. Hoomuns heal Grobble to save from the being dead. Grubble is happy. But hoomuns not kill hin hoomun like they killed the bugbear. Grobble is sad.

    Feemale hooman like ghost says she own Grobble so will hurt ones who are killing him. Ghost lady is like the way shaman does the being like ghost. Ghost lady takes Grobble to her tower to puts it in her dungeon. Along the way meets a mighty hoomun who breaks wind like the thunder! Grobble joke and called him Thunder God. Ghost lady says that she will not beat me yet. Soon Grobble will rub her feet and her shoulders and burst her boils and her friends will beat Grobble for the making of laugh. Grobble is with new Overlord Master in nice dungeon. Grobbel was happy.

    The end.


  • Legion

    The Blackguard strode through the dock area, black cloak billowing, flanked by an acolyte.
    “So you say this tracker is one of exceptional skill?”

    The acolyte swallowed his fear down before replying, “Y - yes my lord. According to the records we managed to salvage from the ruins of our temple, he has a reputation for being an excellent tracker.”

    “I hope so, … for your sake” replied the unholy warrior menacingly, his voice echoing within his dark helmet. “The Black Hand is not as forgiving as I am. “

    The pair arrived at a docked ship that was unloading cargo and slaves. The acolyte approached one of the sweaty sailors. “We … err … WISH to see your CAPTAIN … at ONCE!”

    “Oi I be thar Capt’n.”

    “Right,” stuttered the acolyte “.. well … permission to come aboard?”

    Without waiting the Blackguard strode up the boarding ramp and onto the deck. “Pull up your anchor.

    The flustering Captain, who had flowed the blackguard onboard, replied cautiously, “Well we still be tied up to the dock me … dark … lord… we – “

    “You will regret making me ask again. PULL UP YOUR ANCHOR!

    The Captain whistled at some crew members who began hastily hoisting up the anchor. Eventually it broke the surface and was dangling beside the hull of the ship.
    “Bring it up onto the deck … please” the acolyte asked, in a submissive yet serious tone. The Captain glanced at the blackguard, who at this point had the captain totally unnerved. He whistled again and nodded to his crew. With a huge effort they managed to bring the weed covered anchor up onto the deck. “Bring it upright please.” At this point the crew began obeying the words of the acolyte and his master rather than waiting for a whistle from their captain. The “anchor” turned out to be a stone statue of a goblin, with a curved metal bar slung over its shoulders. Its arms were draped over the bar scare crow fashion. The ankles were together with feet apart providing a base onto which to tie the rope. The acolyte pulled a lump of fleshy stone from his satchel and began rubbing it over the statue. The stone began to darken, and then change colour until it was the hue of yellowish green goblin skin.

    Grobble sank a little under the weight of the metal bar slung over his shoulders, “ -heavy … how long you want me to … hey … where is-“.

    You are Grobble?” asked the blackguard in a deep, menacing voice.

    “.. yes … but if yoo do the ask because yoo look for the one who did the crimes … it WASN’T ME! I swear. Besides, I am the good frend of yoo, and I never do cri-“

    SILENCE!” Barked the blackguard. “You will track down the one responsible for the destruction of our temple.

    “Oh … well … I not the slave. So … I’m not going to do it.”

    The acolyte, along with the crew of the ship, were both stunned and slightly amused. They were sure the goblin would be brutally slain.

    “ … for free. I mean … slaves do the doing of things for free because they are the slave. But yoo have to give me coins. And not just the copper ones. I need a gold coin for THIS job. Maybe even TWO!” The iron bar over Grobble’s shoulders tumbled onto the deck as the goblin wriggled loose.

    “Very well … creature. You may have coins. Ten of them. If you bring back to me inform- “ The ship lurched as panels along the keel suddenly warped, letting water gush into the hull. The ship quickly tilted on its side, sending the blackguard and most of the crew into the inky black water. Grobble scrambled up onto the side of the boat that wasn’t submerged and managed to leap onto the dock as the vessel vanished beneath the waves. Some of the sailors had managed to escape the sinking ship and swam over to the dock, but the acolyte and the blackguard were nowhere to be seen, their armour dragging them straight into the depths where, legend has it, untold horrors lurked.

    Hmm ..” Grobble grumbled. “how does he give to me my coins now?” Some of the slavers spotted the goblin, and began moving toward him, hoping to gain product for their trade. Grobble took out his bloody rag, “Boy! So glad I have THIS! I think it did give to me luck! Yes you know that if you eat the heart of a HIN that you gain the LUCK of it?!” The slavers went back to what they were doing “ … not that I have eaten the heart of a Hin of course … because that would be the crime. And ANYONE who says that I DID eat the HEART is A LIARr!”. At this stage nobody was really listening.

    [[Mostly an explanation of where Grobble has been while I was AFK for the last 5 years.]]


  • Legion

    Just updated a few posts with broken links to my daft gobble vids.
    Here are a few that were missing.

    Happy HALLOWEEN!!

    Educational Video I - Kobolds
    Educational Video II - OOC vs IC



  • hilarious, as always


  • Legion


  • Legion

    @94be2e6eec:

    To the one who does the read of this diary,

    Yesterday I did many talks with a human from the Dread City of Peltarch who name is being Jason. He is old. He does the worship of a human god called Illmater. He has two squires - which are being people who he adopts or just has so that they can do the learn from him to be a warrior. Even though he doesn't fight. But he does the teach of him and they follow where he goes.

    Before he did the give to me of many books about how he has a special rod of Illmater. I read all of them. So many books! So I do much knowing of him.

    Today Jason told me he wants coins and moneys. He wants to give it to Overlord Dwin and other Dwarfs to make a "base" for him. I try to give to him advices of how to take moneys off his enemies. But he doesn't want to do that. He doesn't want to do kill to his enemies or steal from them. I try to explain that to become rich you have to make someone else poor. There is no getting richer without someone else getting poorer. But he doesn't listen to that.

    Maybe he could make his base out of dirt and wood and animal skins! So much better. Especially better for him if he doesn't want to do the make of other people being poorer by making a base that needs coins. I would say that to him but I won't. I want him to give moneys to Overlord Dwin and his Kins so that they can make him his base. So Jason is poorer and Overlord Dwin so much richer! So good!

    I also did the Clean of Overlord Dwin's floors today. So covered with dirt and filth they were! I did the sweep and the mop of them. Now the rats won't get dirty when they walk on the floor. The belly of the rats get large with foods and with baby rats so the belly of them drags on the floor. Now when the rat belly drags it will stay clean. Good.



  • Ha! Good one. I always wondered what the true story was…


  • Legion

    // OOC: HAPPY EASTER!

    Merry EASTER from GROBBLE!


  • Legion

    @0ac82deff3:

    When you do the eat of foods it goes into your body. The body then does it's magic to it and makes it change. Then the poop comes out.

    Sometimes my feel is that I am like the foods that Norwick did eat. I am inside the Norwick being changed. But instead of poop coming out I am being better. I was more like poop going in with the nice thing coming out. So opposite.

    Grobble is being the poop that Norwick ate.


  • Legion

    @3d386f2f3d:

    To diary.

    Today while doing the give of worships and prays to the massive human god in the north there was much fire and exploding! I was with much fear because of it but then I did not have the fear. The statue of Tempus did have his massive hand stretched out like he was doing the point at Grobble. While I was trying to do remember of whether or not statue was doing point before a carved rune dropped out of the hand of statue. I did the reading of it with my knowing of letters and did feel that the rune was for the making strong. I did the put of the rune into the offering but my heart was doing the knowing that the rune was for me to do the keep of.
    I do the give of a special pray to Tempus and say that we both do the enter into worshiper – god relationship. I do the give of worships and prays to him and the doing of his dogmas and the give of gifts to him. He does the protection of me and the give to me of powers and the love of me.

    Sogar may be being anger at this. I have not doe the tell of him yet that I enter into the worshiper – god relationship with Tempus and not with him. He will have much anger with me because he does not give much like to Tempus. Also he wants to be the demigod and commands the Grobble to do the give of worship to him. I think that maybe the next time I do see of him I will do the run and hide.

    Today I also did the pick of a large nugget from my nose. It was crunchy but with a wet tail that wrapped around my finger once I had pulled it out. It was a sign I think.


  • Legion

    A letter written to Dread Overlord Dwin Dolvak

    @044cfed54e:

    Dear Dread Overlord DWIN DOLVAK

    May you feet feel the warmth of you enemies blood splashing across them.

    First of all I would like to do the draw of you attention to the improvement of Grobble’s penmanship! So good is the Grobble’s penmanship! I do not do the draw of attention to this hoping that you do the pay rise for Grobble. That would be nice but that is not the reason. Seriously.

    The reason I have the urgency to do the write of a letter to you is for religious reasons. During the Grobble’s wander he does the find of the massive statue of human god. I did give of worships to it and of prays. It was good. But yesterday I did the meet of a big human man with a scary mask on. His name was being Sogar. We did the talk of gods and he says to Grobble “what god do you do worships to?” And I say “this one here” and he says “I don’t like Tempus!” and then does the smash of the statue and altar with much power.

    Sogar then says to Grobble “you do the worships to my god now”. So I say “where is the statue of you god for me to give the worships to it?” and he says “I am statue of my god made out of meats. You do the worships of me to make me demigod!”

    I tell the Sogar that I need to be talking about this issue to you first. He does the great insulting to Tempus so I think that he is in big trouble with him. So it would be good for him to become the demigod so he maybe will be able to resist the troubles he is in. Yes Grobble things it would be good for Sogar to be a demigod to avoid troubles that he is in.

    But I do the swear to be valued employee of you with the swearing on you axe Goblin Bane. Oh so much swearing to be faithful valued employee does the Grobble do! So I wanted to ask you first just in case doing the give of worship to Sogar for him to become a demigod is breaking the oath I did take on you axe.

    It also got me to do the think – why don’t you do the try of becoming a demigod?

    You tell me what I do the worship to and I do the worship to that.

    You valued employee,

    GROBBLE of NORWICK.


  • Legion

    @fdf050cea9=Clan:

    :lol:

    DIdnt get to watch the whole thing, but you must have had a lot of fun with that!

    // oh you really need to watch it to the end for the video to have its full sanity stripping effect.



  • :lol:

    DIdnt get to watch the whole thing, but you must have had a lot of fun with that!


  • Legion


  • Legion

    written in handwriting that shows great improvement in penmanship. Grobble's common is obviously getting better.

    @ac7c20f159:

    Dear diary!

    May the bones of your enemies make cracking sounds as they snap beneath your feet.

    Today I did the coming home after being in the prison of Norwick. Grobble gradually was becoming not hated in Dread City of Norwick, but for suddenly Guard Timot and a fee male hooman with bow did the beat of grobble. They did the angry talking to him first, and then the chasing and trying to do hurt with bow and axe. Oh such chasing did they do! I do not run far because the law is saying that if you run away then yoo are being guilty of what yoo do the run away from. But guard did not say why he do the beat of me? He says yoo show papers. I show him the Dolvak rune like I always do. He says I don't care about yoo Dolvak Rune I smush yoo! So I run. Oh such running did I do! But around in circles and not away because I not want to be in trouble for running away.

    So he does the beat of me and the fee male does the shooting of an arrow into my bottom. He then did the put of me into prison. That was nice of guard to be making the Grobble be in Norwick Prison. I did think he would do the kill of me! Norwick prison has the good rats. Juicy with much fat and not being scrawny.

    Eventually they do the release of the grobble.

    I did like the stay in prison but the reason for the Grobble being there is still being chased by mind and I not catch it yet. (in brackets I explain that is using language to say Grobble doesn't understand yet). So many hoomans do the teach of grobble that Norwick does not do the slave keeping, but some hoomans still do the beat of grobble like the slave. Some hoomans say they do the like of Grobble, but others shoot the arrow into his butt.

    I need to be doing things that makes the hoomans like the Grobble! Yes the doing of hero things so they like and don't do the beat of him! But what does the Grobble do? I will get onto that question with thinking. I will defeat the not knowing the answer of that question with the swinging of the sword of being clever (in brackets I explain that is using language to say that Grobble will figure it out).

    That is all I write for now.



  • ((Fantastic. Looks like Dwin better check in soon at home!))


  • Legion

    another random diary entry

    @c5c9bba5b7:

    I am having a time that is greatly good.

    Dread Overlord Dwin (may his feet be warmed as the blood of his enemies splash across them) is away often. This is good. Grobble has much time to himself in Overlord Dwin house.

    Two rats have birth to many baby rats today. Another two have the large belly ready to do have birth! Soon there will be so many rats! One of them did bring home a cat two days before today! So many powerful rats shall Overlord Dwin have when he return! He will come home and be welcomed by faithful army of rat! Oh so happy shall he be!

    I did meet two hoomans while doing the roam today. One was an elf hooman and other had round ears. So lovely were they! I did think that the elf hooman was a feemale but was male. So soft was male elf that he did look like the feemale one. Hard to tell.

    I did sharpen of spare axe today. Overlord Dwin not use that axe to fight. Just to for the chop of wood. Still good to make it sharp. He shall have much happiness.

    Grobble is best slave ever.

    Valued Employee.


  • Legion

    Written in a bit of a scrawl. The following forms a part of Grobbles random "diary" writings.

    @6eda200907:

    Today I did do the roam and meeting hoomans at the gate. Grobble does the doing of surrender to them. Even though is servant to Dread Overlord Dwin Dolvak he has to do the surrender just in case they want to be doing the kill to Grobble. I show them Dread Overlord's special seal. They not do the kill to me. One says "we go to the cript." Grobble says "I come?" and it said "yes!" So Grobble did come too to the crypt to be doing the kill of skeletons and zombies. But is it doing the kill when the thing yoo do kill to is already had the kill? Will get onto that with thinking.

    We did go through the yard of graves and then down the hole to the "crypt" which is being under ground. Oh so scary it was! The zombie smell much worser down there and the lights throw things. But Grobble has the sheeld! Oh they did want to do the kill to Grobble but he holds up the sheeld so he doesn't get the kill. But some did hit hard to hurt Grobble even though he holds up his sheeld! One nearly did break his arm he did do the hit to him so hard! Grobble did running away from that one with the calling of "HELP HELP HELP" and the hoomuns did do the help to Grobble ! That is why Grobble is so glad to be a Norwick hooman now. Hoomans do helping to each other.

    Oh and such treasure did Grobble find! Two cold coins! They did get added to his pouch! Oh so heavy is Grobble's coin pouch! Now has more than ten coins! I do the thinking of what to do with the riches. Soon Grobble will do the buying of a castle which is like a cave but on the outside instead of underground and with a door. And may also buy some fee males for the breeding and to do the cook and clean. OH so many fee males shall Grobble buy!


  • Legion

    *Unlike Grobbles previous stories and drawings, this story is written with a quill onto good quality parchment with semi decent penmanship. *

    @872f1c4e74=grobble:

    _A story by Grobble of Norwick,
    Servant of the Dread Overlord Dwin Dolvak.

    One upon the times was the goblin who's name is being Grobble.

    Grobble did the staying alive while in goblin country by the being smart. He did the surrending to the hoomuns and became slave to the Ghost Lady Val.

    Although slave not really. Val was not doing the beat to grobble or the whip. Val did say that was better to be free. She explain that being free is to ROAM. Grobble liked the words of the Ghost Lady Val when she did the talk about ROAM.

    One day, while in prison of Ghost Lady Val, the goblin who's name is being Grobble decided to be doing the smart to be doing the roam and not in Ghost Lady dungeon anymore. With the smart Grobble did make the cunning plan of being sick. He was good at the making of snot, and oh such snot did he make! He sleeps during day when Ghost Lady's soldiers were not around, and during night did much gargling of snot and the coughing of snot. More and more did the snot become the annoyance to the Ghost Lady's soldiers! After being sick a long time, Grobble did the rolling up spare blanket and put it under blanket to make look like the grobble.

    Grobble stopped the snot and was doing the quiet and hide. With quietness Ghost Lady's soldiers did the thinking that Grobble was dead. When the soldier opened door the the cell to look at the body of grobble in the bed, Grobble did sneak out through the door and up the stairs. The Ghost Lady soliders were having much anger at thinking that the blanket was Grobble but was not being the real Grobble, and began to be looking for the Grobble to catch him. He did hide in the store room with the darkness and many boxes. Oh so many boxes filled with wonderful things!

    The soldiers were doing the look everywhere for Grobble, but Grobble used the being smart to not be found by them. But he could not be walking out the door because the guard always was watching the door with his eyes and with the holding of a very large axe for the chopping of grobble. So grobble did the smart by taking some food and hiding in the garbage barrel. He was knowing that the garbage can would be taken out for the emptying. So he waited. Oh so long did he wait. He did need to go to the toilet in the can he did wait so long. But had food so was not too bad as it would have been if he did not have the food and was getting the hunger. Was also food in garbage barrel.

    A long time later the soldier of Ghost Lady was doing the take of the garbage barrel to tip out into the river. Grobble was tipped out into river with the garbage. Soldier who was doing the tipping see grobble doing the swim in the water to the other side. Was dwarf with heavy metal armour so could not do the swim to catch the grobble. So he was doing the run to the bridge to get to the other side of the river where grobble was doing the swim to. Grobble did run to the woods and hide behind the tree. The Dwarf soldier of the Ghost Lady did run past grobble to keep looking for him south, so grobble did run north.

    The Grobble did then ROAM. Oh such ROAMING did the Grobble do! But with many dangers in the land Grobble did find some cloth to be making the white flag for the waving and the making of surrender. Grobble did get lost in the woods but did not care much. He did the loving of the ROAM and the seeing of new things.

    He did see a badger. Grobble did the kill and eat of the badger!

    He did see a very large spider. Oh such running did the Grobble do away from that spider!

    He did see the massive human army at the crossroad! With the sneaky getting away did the grobble not be captured by that army!

    He did see the the Fee Male hooman who was doing the kill to a wolf. Grobble did the waving of the flag to surrender to the fee male. She was giving the grobble the mercy and saying that she does worhip to Torm. Grobble says that he be the slave to the Torm Fee Male, but she did say that is better to be dead than to be the slave. Grobble did not want to be killed so was not slave to that fee male. She did saying that the Grobble should go north to Norwick.

    OH YES! Oh terrible Norwick… back in the hands of the hoomans now! Fortress city that sends so many terrible hoomans to kill the goblins and the bugbears! Oh Norwick! The heart of the Grobble did tremble when he did get close to her terrifying gates! But if Grobble could do the living in Norwick, then would be safe from those trying to do the kill to grobble.

    The Grobble was brave and waved his mighty white flag for the making of surrender to the giant hoomans who guarded the gates. Some were giving the mercy because of the waving of the white flag for the making of surrender, but some were giving the anger to grobble. One did grab the grobble and put him in its dungeon. Oh the dungeon, so close to the terrible Hall of Norwick where the dreaded overlords did their plotting! In the dungeon they did the talking mean and asking of questions to the grobble for the knowing of important information. They then call for the Dread Overlord Dwin Dolvak! Oh Dwin! Such terror did he bring with him into the dungeon! The grobble was brave with the doing of surrender and pleading and begging to the Dwin not to be getting the kill from him. The grobble did tell -_ (a large part of the paragraph has been scribbled out from this point) _- it eats the tongue that tells secrets.

    The Dread Overlord Dwin Dolvak did give the Grobble Mercy. He did make Grobble kneel and swear to serve the Dread Overlord by the swearing on his mighty axe Goblin's Bane. Grobble did swear to be the best servant to Dread Overlord Dwin Dolvak ever at the exclusion of being the servant to others unless the Dread Overlord does say so. So Grobble did swear by Goblin's Bane to always be the best servant to The Dread Overlord Dwin Dolvak, and the Dread Overlord did give the title Grobble of Norwick to Grobble and did give him a token for the making of him not dead with the showing of the token.

    And oh such service did the Grobble give! The Dread Over Lord does not like the slave so is giving the Grobble two gold coins for the making of Employee! The Dread Overlord puts Grobble in his house amongst many other Dwarf and from that day Grobble of Norwick was always doing the clean and the cook and -_ (scribbled out) _- It eats the tongue that tells secrets.

    And Grobble of Norwick is living happily ever after.

    THE END._


  • Legion

    Grobble was too uncomfortable to sleep, but a wide smile stretched across his face. His large, round shield was on top of him, serving as a cumbersome and ineffective blanket. He resorted to singing himself to sleep.

    "Oh sheeeeeeeeeeld…..
    I likes to feeeeeeeeeeled....
    I always wieeeeeeeeeeeld...
    Makes hin and monster yieeeeeeeeeeld...
    I won't get ... peeeeeeeeeeeled....
    Or ever be keeeeeeeeeeeeeled .....
    In the fieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeld of battle ...
    Like tha farmer's cattle.
    It's nice doesn't rattle....."

    He stood up, his singing increasing in volume.

    "SHEEEEEEEEELD!
    Oh yees I have a SHEEEEEELD!
    Fee males wish to do BREEEEEEEEEEED with the Grobble!
    Holds the hands with the Grobble!
    Be the shee slaaaves to the GROBBLE!
    'Cause he has the SHEEEEEEEED!"

    Standing on the bench, Grobble held shield toward the ceiling, now singing at the top of his voice.

    "OH YESSS SHEEEEEEEELD!
    Ghost lady gived tha SHEEEEEEEELD!
    Shield sheeld SHEELD SHEEEEEEEELD!
    The scheeching sound of metal on metal echoed through the Legion prison as gaoler opened outer door to the cell area*
    Shield wield field SHEEEEEEEEELD!
    Shield sheeld sheeld SHEE-"

    Grobble's song was brought to an abrupt and merciful end as the Legion private on duty brought his warhammer crashing down on the door of Grobble's cell.

    CLANG!

    "Shut tha FARK UP!"