Diary of a Life Reborn
Dammit. I went from not having enough confidence to having too much. Golems attacked the south gate. I was helping out, and we found a portal at the Rawlinswood lake. At that point I really should have just bowed out, I mean this was getting over my head. But I stepped into the portal…
... and that's all I remember. Something killed me immediately as I emerged, I think. I'm not sure what, I just know I felt a lot of pain.
Vilmar scolded me for being an idiot. Okay, he said it nicer than that. But I was an idiot. It's funny though, it really does feel like old times with him. I'd go get involved in stuff and he would question the need to stick our necks out.
I'm going to take it easy after my visit with death, then back to training. I can't focus on that "magic weapon" spell now, I want it back.
As I came to town today there was a large group of elves, most of whom I know. My first thought was that perhaps the Shesae were having a gathering. I suppose that was not incorrect, but they were all preparing to leave on a mission to find Ty'eth, the drow from the trial. Kiana invited me along. I wasn't sure I should; the trip sounded dangerous. Some of the group mentioned we'd face duergar. I decided to go with them, however. I was too curious to know what happened to Ty'eth and there were plenty of people that I can trust with my life (and have done so before). Kiana, Rith, Fadia, Ama'bael, Therean, Faelar, Dondiah, Risternil, Jin. Oh, and a bard named Elidor. I think Rith was the only human among the group.
Relying on some scrying that Rith performed, we headed south and east toward the “Scar”. I have never seen the Scar before. I wonder if I should be glad I missed the N'jast War. At the scar we faced harpies and wyverns. I have to say the wyverns impressed me. They liked to leap high in the air and pounce on us with a powerful dive that would cause gusts that threatened to knock me down. We came to a cavern that was down one of the cliffs of the scar, and Rith was certain that was where Ty'eth headed. Inside we found a maze of caverns and doors. We ran into some duergar patrols as predicted, as well as some hook horrors. My new spell came in handy. I relied on my bow and spells the whole time. We did have a couple of scary spots. At one point, we were fighting off hook horrors behind us, while duergar charged in front.
We found Ty'eth finally, alive and looking well. He was certainly surprised to see us. We ended up helping him pilfer something from the duergar, which ended with us making a maddened retreat as “gray guard” gave chase. As far as I can understand, these would be the elite soldiers of the duergar.
So, Ty'eth is safe and sound. Though his kidnapping is still quite curious. When asked who took his answer was something like, “I am told to say that Vaxin's men took me.” Curious, no?
This trip also made me realize that I need to be a bit more confident in what I can handle. I almost didn't go because I feared I'd be useless against such foes. I handled myself very well though. Of course, it helps to be with people I know will have my back, but at least I know that I might have their back as well. I just get nervous because I cannot rely on being able to turn into a big feline with claws and teeth. I'm also not as sturdy as I was as a half-elf.
By Selûne… I don't think I could have a bigger shock in my life than the one I had today. Rith told me that Vilmar is back.
Vilmar is alive!!!
I couldn't believe her at first. Hell, I couldn't even THINK at first when she told me. It feels like a lifetime that he's been gone. Actually, it would be a lifetime to a human… I remember the day Kharbeh gave me his bow and ring vividly. I could feel the total sense and finality that Vilmar was dead then.
Yet he's alive!! And well!
And he's shocked to see me as an elf now. I did my best to explain what happened and about Lorelai. Dear Selûne, I know she's going to panic. After all, she was the "evil" side, right? Vilmar certainly remembers it that way. And I know Tojan used to call her "Evil Kitty" … and then just "Dark Kitty." I can see Vilmar's reluctance to even consider trusting her. I can't blame him.
I hope Rith or I talk to her first... try to give her the news easy.
Why do I have the feeling that won't happen?
I won third place in the recent archery contest. I'm honestly surprised I made it that far, I had some awful shots that night. I got some poison-tipped arrows as a prize. I'm not sure I like the prize. Maybe I should make a complaint?
Ael'Que and Esmeralda finally did have their wedding. I do not believe that I have ever seen Ael'Que any happier than he is right now. I'm glad for him.
Oh, I've got a new spell. Something I don't think Lorie has even. I can imbue a little bit of magic on weapons to make them more accurate and damaging. It's not much, but it should at least provide a little bit of damage to things I have trouble with like undead. I think someday I would like a spell that enchants fire into my arrows like Rith likes to do for me sometimes.
I feel much better now, like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
Kiana was understanding of what was going on with Thorn. I wasn't worried that she'd be upset, but I still felt that I had to be honest with her about the problem. She talked to him after, I found out, and that talk led to Thorn wanting to talk to me.
Which was fine since I was wanting to talk to him too.
We both agree that things were going too far, and we don't want me to snap and throw myself at him. So he's going to reign in the teasing. No inappropriate teasing at least. Get back to being like a brother and sister and not more than that. Thorn's wonderful and I'm sure that it would be quite enjoyable if things were to be more than that. But it's not right. He's got Fadia. I've got Kiana (even as understanding as she says she is about it). It's not worth ruining friendships and relationships for a night of fun.
Finally, got myself to get some ink. Well, it's Thorn's technically, I swiped it off his desk. He probably won't miss it. Belinda on the other hand, she'll probably pester me to replace it.
Been a while since I've written something in here, I see. I ran out of ink and was too lazy with getting more. Quite a bit has happened though, and I really should write it down. I've really got some things that need figuring out. Stuff that is driving me crazy… with Thorn and Fadia.
First, the easy stuff.
We had an interesting incident in Norwick with a drow. One that has a good heart. He found some dead bodies in the woods and alerted the guard, but in doing so he revealed what he was and so was arrested. I'm rather happy that my investigation into the matter was able to clear Ty'eth of any wrong-doing, but it took significantly more to convince the Chancellor to let him free.
Sadly, after being released somebody kidnapped him. Based on what was said, it sounds like the blame should be pinned on Vaxin (scary mage that's spurring the Hoarans into conflict). His involvement makes little sense though. I still don't know if Ty'eth is safe now. I have to make sure to ask Dondiah if there's any news.
My relationship with Kiana is still going strong. I still feel a bit crazy, but I'm getting more comfortable with being open to others about our relationship. She recently proposed to me. Of course, I said yes. We have no clue when we want to actually have the wedding. Not that I'm rushing to have it happen. Considering how terrible I am at planning things out, I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up being a last minute affair.
I have also asked the Shesae to considering allowing me to join. Though, the way it sounds from Thorn, I have the feeling that I shouldn't expect a positive result on that. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I may be an elf in body, but I won't deny my soul should still be only half. I was hoping it would help me learn more about... well... elves. My father had no chance for that when I was growing up. He visited when he could sneak in, but that was hardly enough. I thought that if I wanted to learn more about elven life, the best way would be to be with them, thus the Shesae. If that doesn't happen, I guess I'll just have to rely on those elves who are close to me. Ael'Que, Kiana, Thorn, Fadia...
Though, it's getting a bit dangerous to spend time with Thorn and Fadia. Especially Thorn. He likes to tease me. Flirt with me. Teasingly flirt. I know I should make him stop. But I can't. I don't mean that he won't listen, I mean I literally can't get the words out of my mouth to tell him to stop. My body wants more. Selune help me, I'm just so attracted to him. Yeah, it's that bad. I gotta get a hold of myself before I do something that we end up regretting.
It doesn't help that Fadia goes along with it... Thorn and I joke that she's probably part nymph...
Alright. First, talk to Kiana. I'm not going to hide anything from her. Then talk to Thorn.
This past month has had it's ups and downs. It has mostly been good, but there have been a few odd things that irked me.
The Grapevine Inn is a good example of what has irked me. A couple of tenday ago, Kiana and I were spending some time alone in a room when the candles were suddenly snuffed out and then re-lit. Out of nowhere this voice teased us, saying it was hoping for more “action.” It was some kind of spirit. I don't know if it was a malicious sort, but it certainly enjoyed toying with us. The perverted jerk. Rold denied there ever being a ghost in the inn, of course.
And last night, there was something that happened in the inn that Ael'Que somehow was involved with. I don't know quite understand what happened, but it's enough to make me decide to not sleep in the inn any more.
I think what bothered me most about the spirit interrupting Kiana and I is that our relationship is still something I am still a bit nervous about. That was a night I was trying to let go of that nervousness and let myself lead things along. I suppose there will be other nights, but still, I am quite upset at the spirit.
Despite that little setback, our relationship has been happy. My friends all seem happy lately too. Ael'Que did have a little spat with his ex-girlfriend, but it sounds like that may have been resolved. He has also re-joined the Legion. His wedding to Esmeralda should be fast approaching. Rith and Micah also are very happy. Fadia and Thorn are… undeniably silly, as usual.
I still need to focus on my magic. At least a bit more would be nice. Though I do find my scouting skills to come quite naturally and I feel I should not neglect them. I suppose the question is, do I want to be a sorceress with some scouting skills, or a scout with some sorcery?
Also... why the hell am I still without a familiar?
Kiana and Ael'Que wanted to go mining, so we checked out the Goblin Hold. There were many people I trust, like Esmeralda, Romulus, Gnarl… A newer face too, a Sun Elf by the name of Sirion. Sirion did not get along well with many of us. I believe that Fadia and Rith would say he is an elf of the "snobby" persuasion. His tastes in clothing seem... a little girly?
We did not find much in the Goblin Hold worth mining, so we returned to town. Ael'Que and Kiana still wanted some ore, and Esmeralda still wanted to test her battle skills, so we decided to head to the kuo-toa and umberhulks. Along with us three, Faelar came along and Sirion again. Ael'Que and Sirion argued quite a bit on the trip, and the others grew to really dislike him as well. He seemed more concerned about himself. Big egos seem to be a danger of being a wizard. Kiana disliked how he did not prepare for mind protections when we fought the umberhulk and Ael'Que became confused from it's magical gaze. He also did not seem to realize that kuo-toa's eyes are very different from our own and are able to pierce invisibility spells.
After we claimed our ore (nickel and some copper) and left the caverns, Kiana berated Sirion for his lack of preparedness. The wizard's response? He made cast a spell of blindness on her! She was quite upset and managed to hit him with her axe before he could run.
I hope Sirion isn't foolish enough to further provoke her and my friends. I fear, however, this won't be the end of it.
So… Remember that Zeke fellow?
He is really Zyphlin. As in the "Blue Bard". Adam Bromley's successor. And now, Zyphlin has his memories back!
I feel slightly sorry for him. He has his proper memories back and is trying to sort that out and I show up as an elf while he should remember me being a half-elf. That gave him a good round of confusion.
I feel even sorrier that I giggle at the thought of him eventually running into Lorie and becoming even more confused.
The pretty elf lay in bed, having rested for hours. She felt completely relaxed and content, without troubling thoughts in her head. Though she noted that she was by herself that morning, the room did not feel empty. After a few more lazy moments, she finally sat up and stretched. With a happy sigh, she grabbed her diary and began to write.
Sometimes I do not know what to do about Rith. There are times when I want to slap her upside the head. There are times when I want to give her the biggest hugs. And then there are times where I want to do both. After last night, I feel like the latter with maybe a couple extra hugs.
Not that I am complaining about last night, but I can’t shake the image that I was like a gnomish wind-up toy. Just crank me up, point me at Kiana, and let me go. Damn ears.
By Selûne though, I needed that push and am happy for it.
I made another outfit for myself today. Simple and flattering, yet modest compared to my green skimpy set. Afterward, I met up with Fadia, Rith, and Micah. It seems that he is also learning blacksmithing. It was rather amusing to see Rith's eyes glued to his sweaty, shirtless body hammering away at the hot metal. Okay, I'll be honest, I was looking, too. Do you blame me? He's a nine.
We went to the bathhouse to wash up after. I wanted to talk to Fadia about Kiana and I but… Rith and Micah were a bit too close and I just didn't feel like saying anything that would get me teased again. By Selûne, those two are so enamored with each other. I'm not sure a full candlemark had passed before Rith and Micah left to have some 'private' time.
Unfortunately, Fadia had to get going soon after. That left me on my own in Peltarch.
I really should learn where things are in this city sometime...
After Kiana was done working in the crafthall, we started to talk about us. Which honestly was more me trying to talk about us. I had to get my feelings out. And yet again, we are interrupted. The master blacksmith yelled at us, told us to go get a room. We were not even kissing! Just talking!
I am getting sick of the teasing.
I stormed out of the crafthall with Kiana. We ran into Ael’Que and a friend of his, and joined them for a trip back south. As soon as we docked, Kiana and I ran for it. I wanted to sit with her alone, without any distractions. Without any teasing. So we found a secluded place on a hill in the town away from everybody.
I confessed to her everything that I have been feeling. Andu, the teasing, how I cannot stay away, how I feel like I am going crazy. And most importantly, how I feel about her.
I love her.
I still feel crazy, but at least I said it all.
I was looking forward to competing in the archery contest at Fight Night, so we climbed back down the hill. Locrian has taken over as the host of Fight Night and I believe I see why Thorn tells me to give him a hard time.
Locrian is an ass. A bully. I see him pick on people and expect they will just bow to him. He reminds me of that bastard that made it a point to push me down and belittle me while growing up as a half-elf. Rith got so fed up at him that she used a Silence spell to shut him up.
She got tossed into jail for it. Moonie and Maria joined her as a show of protest against him. Kiana and I followed to at least keep them company. I swear I’ll not attend another Fight Night that has Locrian in charge.
They only were in jail for a few hours, thankfully. I joined Rith, Val, Maria, Moonie, and Aska for some drinks at the Grapevine. Aska can still be tactless, however I do think she has been improving. Whatever Rith is doing to get Aska to accept her new life seems to be working.
While we all talked, Corwin grabbed Val. It looked important. When Val returned with blood on her hands, we found out what was the problem. Kat tried to kill herself. Moonie dashed right upstairs, while I followed after. I’m sure Rith would rather I stayed away. After all, a paladin confirmed a dark taint in her.
The way I see it, perhaps a show of compassion can turn her around. It worked for Lorie, right?
I went on a mining trip today with Kiana. Ael’Que and Esmeralda were constantly kissing each other. Kiana’s actually made a game of it, counting their kisses on each trip. For the record, their total was 13 on this one. Of course, Ael’Que teased Kiana and I, asking how soon would they have to count our kisses. I’m glad I had a helm on, I could feel my cheeks burning. Romulus seemed amused at it all.
Esmer… Rith has warned me of her. She worships a dark god. Hearing of it from Kiana, however, it sounds like the worship is out of fear than devotion. I cannot help being wary, but I am going to give her a chance to prove herself. I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t. And Ael’Que and Esmer really do seem to be quite in love. Call me optimistic, but maybe that love will set her free from her fear. It’s a nice thought.
We’re back in Peltarch now. Kiana’s at the forge smelting the copper ore we mined. I’m trying to sit here and think. The events of the other night at the Grapevine Inn replay in my head. The tickling, then the kiss. By Selûne, if nobody had walked in on us, where would it have led? We were not even drunk this time!
It does not help when people tease me about this. The teasing makes me feel like I’m doing something I should not. I feel I am being scandalous when I hear the remarks.
I cannot stay away from her though. I fail immediately. What should I do? I do not even know who else I should talk to about this. Maybe I should just follow Rith’s advice?
Today has had it's ups and downs.
Drow attacked people in the crypts, so now the town is on alert. I was planning to hunt goblins and hobgoblins with friends, but we decided to head to Peltarch instead and hunt kobolds. That went pretty well. Kobolds are like reptilian versions of goblins.
Kiana and I spent some time with friends by the fireplace in the Grapevine Inn. And soon found ourselves alone. And… well, it started out as a tickle fight but soon she was on top of me and able to sneak a kiss and...
Rith and Micah are suddenly standing there, gawking at first as she scrambled off me and then scolding us for such actions in public. I could still hear Micah grumbling as he walked off with Rith.
And then Ael'Que walks in and walks out.
I just wanted to shrink away and disappear...
As Kiana and I recovered from our embarassment, a pixie began to talk with us. He was a welcome distraction. He was lost, so we showed him to the druid glen where there are lots of pixies and other sprites. He gave Kiana and I each a pixie arrow as thanks.
Now as I rest, I can't help but look back on Kiana and I. If I don't do something soon, I'm going to lose it.
The pretty elf lay in bed hoping to rest, but finding it difficult. Her mind was simply too busy, too many thoughts weighing her down. The little room was decorated quaintly, with a small yet comfortable bed. She could hear occasional voices and footsteps outside. Despite her pleasant surroundings, the room felt empty.
She stared at her pack on the floor next to the bed. Finally, with a forlorn sigh, she sat reached into the pack and pulled out a book, quill, and vial of black ink. She sat up and made her self comfortable and began to write. Words flow onto the paper, framing her thoughts into sentances and paragraphs.
As the third paragraph begins, she pauses. Her hand holds the quill above the paper as her thoughts consume her. A drop of ink falls from the tip, making a small blot. She scowls at herself and finishes her writing.
She gives the page a moment to dry, then snaps the book closed and packs it away with the quill and pen. With a dramatic sigh, she buries herself under the covers and tries again to rest.
Goblins are up to something. It is like an army is forming. I discovered a large group gathered by the Rawlinswood lake. I estimated at least three dozen. I was glad I had a potion of inivisibility so I could slip by unnoticed. Rith mentioned having seen many outside the Fuzzy Den. And she and I both ran into a dozen or so by the Misty Pond. At least it made for a good scout report, right?
Senator Ronan had a trial in Norwick today. If you only listened to the rumors flying about, you would have expected that this was a trial about a mass murder perpetrated by the Senator. The reality of his crime was less dramatic. He simply assaulted a man. I read up on our laws. It is a low crime, we did not even need this trial. Perhaps it was needed to settle some egos. I think I dislike politics, and am glad I am not involved like Lorie is. I used to be, back when the Norwick family was alive. Then the father started making crazy decisions and I stepped away from being an Advisor. I do find it amusing that Lorie is in that role now.
Kiana and I spent some time together after the trial. I -blot- We spent a lot of time just talking. I stayed away from booze too. I've been drunk too much lately. It was a nice relaxing way to finish off the day. Just talking.
I need to do something. Stand up, go forward, take a step, move ahead… I just... I cannot decide what and where. And who. Rith suggests I should follow my heart. But it's just as confused as my head.
Thorn found out. From me. I had mentioned wanting a locker and he let me store stuff in his until I become a full member of the militia with my own locker. And as I was sorting my stuff he got nosey and found the wand.
We both needed a drink after that. Like Fadia though, I had to spill the beans. He wasn't judgmental at least. Maybe he was too surprised by it. I was quite drunk by the end of the story so he let me sleep it off in his room.
Yes, I actually slept. I was too drunk not to, I think. Had a nice dream… I guess. Not sure I want to think about it too much. Thorn, Fadia, and Rith gave me a rude awakening. I felt a little satisfaction seeing Thorn shrink away from my angry-kitty glare. It would have been more satisfying if I could have turned into a big cat still.
I practiced some archery. And more. And more. Thorn wanted me to hit a bullseye, but I just couldn’t, even after a hundred tries. He and Rith then decided to help me with my blushing problem.
Their plan was to put me into a situation that would leave me blushing so much that everything else would seem trivial in comparison. Dear Selûne, Rith can be too much when she gets mischievous. Even Thorn was no match.
That was just... well... She went overboard. It was another dose of awkward for me. That was the point, right?
But I doubt I’ll stop blushing.
I feel exhausted, mentally. Things caught up to me today. I'm glad to have straightened some of it out. However, I wonder my cheeks yet have a permanent blush burned into them.
Kiana and I talked… about that night. And where we go from there. I'm not able to be what she wants. It's not because of whether it'd be right or wrong in others' eyes. I still feel my Bond with Andu, and I know I'll end up hurting the three of us if I tried to be more for Kiana.
She gave me the spirit's gift. And I let her have one last kiss.
Rith saw. Both.
And when Fadia and I were teasing Rith and Micah on their new relationship, Rith goes and blabs about me having a girlfriend. I just... Dear Selûne...
Really Rith, did you have to? At least it was a whisper and that only the four of us heard. It was still embarassing enough seeing as I just told Kiana that I can't be that. I wanted to just let the matter drop, but Fadia was already digging her claws into me. I finally did sit down with Fadia and told her all of it. I know her well enough to know she wouldn't let it drop.
Rith's lucky. She's lucky I was too embarrassed. She's lucky that goblins attacked the gate and ended the conversation there. She's lucky that I honestly feel a little better having told Fadia about it.
And yet... If Fadia knows then Thorn will know...
Be calm. Don't overthink this. Just take it a day at a time.
I should see about finding out if I could get a locker for my extra things. Like the wand. If I keep it with me, it's going to be a little thought in the back of my mind. Hell, even now I can't stop think-
Selûne help me... it's buzzing again.
I'm a little bothered and worried about Ael'Que. Not over the fact that he apparently has an idea of what happened the other night. I'm worried about his well being. He doesn't look good. Kind of pale, and maybe he's cold? He was sitting awfully close to that fire.
I should say something to the others.
The brunette elf sighed as she sat down on the bed in the Grapevine Inn. She knew she could just stay the night in Thorn's office at the Great Hall. She didn't care that the secretary would disapprove of it, but she just didn't feel like running into Thorn. He'd ask how she's doing, and before long would probably pick up on things that happened.
She scowled at herself. Why does she assume he'll know?
The answer came quickly to her. He's her "big brother" now. Vilmar was certainly a perceptive big brother when he was alive. Thorn seems to share that trait, among others.
Well. That was an interesting night. My trip to Peltarch was supposed to be simply to make the outfit Noli asked for, and to talk more with Ama'bael and Therean and possibly ask them if I could join the Shesae. Noli's outfit started to come along a bit, but something didn't look just the way I wanted and I scrapped the design. But I did find the two elves, along with Ael'Que, Kiana, Jin, and others. They invited me to dance and have dinner with them. I wanted to talk to Therean, but then I was having so much fun with the party that I decided more serious matters could wait. I have how many years to live anyhow?
The party became a bit more surreal after I had perhaps too much winter wine to drink with Kiana. I learned some things.
Lesson one: I'm a lightweight. I don't hold my liquor as well as I did in my old body.
Lesson two: How I get embarrassed easily? I'm not some teenage lass who's never kissed. It's the new body. It feels different, and reacts different. I just gotta get used to it, that's all. Right? Easier said than done, I feel myself blushing right now just THINKING about the night…
Lesson three: Curiosity. It's gonna get me killed someday... And yet, I cannot deny that... that... item was... Um... a good gift. Really. Good. But who was that spirit? And should I be thankful or not that it visited and gave that gift?
I just don't know what to think about the night. Maybe I should just let it be and move on.
That's not going to happen, is it?
Seriously, brain. Stop. Thinking. About. It.
Back to Norwick, back to work.
I've started my duties as a scout for Norwick. I patrolled some of the woods with friends. Romulus is proving to be a good archer, and his songs are uplifting in battle. Gnarl, as always, is a stout defender. Tamara is showing a bit more prowess, I hope her tutelage in the Druid Circle is going well. We were joined by a new fellow who seemed to be skilled as an archer. I have not learned much more besides his name, Dinin.
We found Shadows in the old Norwick ruins. Nasty ones, not the simple spirits that normally roam about. They caught us by surprise, but we held up to the attack and dispatched them.
I gave a report to Thorn about it. I felt rather proud of how we did, and I hope he's proud too.