Swords to Plowshares
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After her mother's sermon and prayers to Chauntea in the evening were provided, lady Varya Tiller decided to speak to the commoners and everyone. She would bring it up when there were no lurking adventurers about, keeping it in the community.
"Thirty five years old. A 10 year old son, a loving husband, a caring Goddess, both parents still alive. I'm blessed beyond belief. If I were to count the positives in my life I'm one of the luckiest people there is. Yet... I chose to ignore it. My heart was filled with pure, unbridled hate for demon-kind and anyone associating with them in any way, shape or form. When I had find out people were going to try and return Raazi to this mortal coil after the Nenufar business was dealt with, all I could see was red. Red to Cormac, to Isolde, to Jonni. More traitors to humanity. I let the whole demonic incident change my worldview. I let MYSELF change my whole world view. I quit my job as a Defender Captain, head of recruitment and basic training, a position I should have lost when I threatened to harm Elizabeth Fisher but was still allowed to keep because I did good work on other fronts. I went into business for myself"
A solemn look of sadness visible in her eyes, she'd give a moments pause before continuing.
*"I've made some very poor decisions. Including attacking some mentioned people I thought who were enemies while they were in another sanctuary in my bloodlust which I was interpreting as justice. The hand I once had on my shoulder now is no longer there, the powers I once had been given are no longer my own, and now I stand before you all as not a paladin, a champion, a holy warrior, but as just a woman. A mother, a wife. Someone who has willingly made poor decisions and mistakes in my blindness. I of all people should know that destruction without rebuilding is anathema to the mind, the body, and the soul."
She takes a deep breath and stands up straight.
"I will not take back my mistakes, however, reflecting upon them, I will use them to try and rebuild myself. Not just for the community, not just for my connection to the Grain Goddess, but for me. And as such, as I once served you all as your holy protector, I will continue to commit to you all as a shepherd. And, I'd like to depend on you all now as much as you had depended on me to help me learn to count my blessings once more. You all are my foundation. You're all so very important to me, and I will strive to put you all, put my family, put my Goddess ahead of my on selfish, brash desires. I love you all, and from here on in you will all have my everything. Though I am with title, I insist you treat me like anyone else here, and if I slack in my duties, feel free to give me shit about it so I can correct my mistake!"
She would end the meeting then after the evening prayers, talking a walk all around the perimeter and helping anyone wrap up their work for the evening if desired, before going to rest with her family. Despite putting on a brave face for her people, she seems genuinely shaken when out of the public eye. Worries of great evils that may harm the land with her no longer being able to deal with it make her lose sleep, haunting nightmares of demons continue to plague her rest.
The long, arduous path of truly believing in what she said and acting upon it will finally begin.
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The Plan
Varya writes in her journal
Having discussed with Juniper who would allow me access to her portal, I communicate to the people on the farm as well as my mother and the other leaders that there will be a possible exodus through the south escorted by the Farm's strongest to her portal which would lead the Grain Goddess' people to Silverymoon. The weak, frail, children, and those who cannot fight will all be preserved in these times, though more still has to be done.
I will either have to speak to the leaders there, or have Juniper speak on my behalf to see if a couple of thousand people will be able to be cared for during the period of war. I will also be providing 50,000 coin for any goods and services that can help them along their way, possibly more if needed pending on the circumstances.
Grain Goddess, whether you feel me worthy of holy blessing or not, I shall continue to not falter in these trialsome times and will continue to ensure the safety of your faithful
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Lady Varya Tiller would organize a security meeting among the Peltarch farm community, discussing the possible conflict with N'Jast that may arise after hearing of the declaration.
As all homes have a built in entry and exit to the tunnel systems below, she would guide the strongest farmers she had trained in combat along with the elders through the lower tunnels and show them how to navigate past through the sewer system to get into the city, as well as the other exits when necessary.
"We will keep our people safe. Homes can be rebuilt, farms can be replanted, but your precious lives are the most important resource you have. May the Grain Goddess continue to protect and care for our people as she has many times in the past!"
She would also make mention of other contingencies she might try to employ, including talking to different people and organizations that can create or have access to portals to keep people safe.
With her son almost coming of age and her daughter just a few years behind, the fallen-but-faithful paladin of Chauntea, blessings or not, would once again don arms and armor and begin training herself for the conflict they are to face.
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With many years having passed, with her husband and the Peltarch Farming community Valdabrin within a few more years of coming of age, a handsome dark-haired young man with blue eyes, as well as their daughter now old enough to help along in the farm, Lady Tiller felt it would be best at this point to see what she could do for the city once more. Ravos having been a wonderful father and husband as well has having a great community to offer support, Varya felt this would be the time once more to make amends with bridges she had all but burned in the past, as well as forge her way forward once more, wanting to be more than just a protector.
To this, she would choose to set aside the crook she carried for almost half a decade since the incident and take up sword and shield once more in an effort to redeem herself lawfully and restore that she once lost, having been driven to fanaticisim since the demon had manipulated her.
"Focus not on hunting arsonist who just lit the home aflame, as it will not stop the fire from spreading, rather make an effort to save and preserve the lives within and the shelter itself. Protect your family, your faith, friends, and fields and let not the transgressions of others ever affect this. Destruction for its own sake is anathema as says the Grain Goddess, as you are a champion of flower, field, fertility and renewal. never lose sight of this." One of many wise sayings shared to her by her mother when she was lost, and one she'd adhere to memory.
Offering her personal prayers to the Grain Goddess, with letter in hand, she would make her way back to the city then, and place a sealed letter on the desk of the defenders. Should it be opened, it would read.
*To the Dear Protectors of our City
I, Varya Tiller, humbly offer myself once more to become an indespensable asset to you, should you require me for any work or assistance. I am aware of my past, and though I felt I have been a positive influence, I would also like to reconsile for the negatives as well, willing to offer myself to any position you feel would be required that you think you could make use of me. Though I am still a warrior of faith, I have also learned a lesson in humility and patience as time has passed and seek once more for both myself and the city's sake to contribute in efforts to once more protect its peace, whether it be internally or externally.
Should you have work for me, please feel free to contact me at the Tiller residence or have me summoned into the city for a meeting, thank you.
Grain Goddess help keep us:
Varya Tiller*
With that she would make her way back and begin to get herself back into fighting shape once more.
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In the last year or so, things seemed to have changed quite a bit for the former Paladina. It had been difficult but she seemed to have found peace with herself as she focuses her efforts on family and community. From spending more time with her loving husband Ravos, to them finally having a second child; a beautiful little girl named Esmerelda, she seems to continue to strive to work hard and live her life, serving her goddess, community, and family.
Dear Journal, and dear Grain Goddess-... I would ask you both to listen and keep the words and feelings I wish to express after bottling things up for so long.
Its been a trial, this last while I must admit. My entire life since I first picked up a sword and slew that zombie as a child, I felt that I needed to hone myself into something that could defeat any threat to the people of the region. I pushed the limits of what I thought I was capable of and kept pushing myself to encapsulate being an individual who could defeat things others couldn't, conquer challenges that would prove impossible if I wasn't around.
I... I met Helm myself, along with Torm, after helping seal the destructive shadows that threatened us all. What I did, at His temple in my blind fury after what Nenufar did to everyone... it was wrong. It was so... so... so wrong. I... I've never been able to truly voice this to others. I don't know what happened to Raazi... she turned into a Demon yet lo and behold she stood there now, with no memories, protected in a temple of Helm. Just... blind fury and hatred towards demons and people associated with them.
I don't know how she's not a demon anymore... but given all the phenomena I've experienced recently, including shadow-copies and even time travel, I should have perhaps weighed these in to draw my conclusion. I very well may have attacked an innocent girl.
I don't expect to ever be a Paladin again for what I did. And... in the end that's fine. I hold no resentment towards Her... and perhaps I can forgive myself one day as well. To be a paladin of Chauntea, other than the martial skill and swearing the oath, one must simply and only reap when they know it brings renewal, otherwise one must simple help care for their community, for nature, and do good things for others. For a long time I tried to be a knight, when in the end all we needed is a shepherd who could guide others and display patience.
I... I don't know what sort of apology I can make that would be worthy of the misdeeds I've done, or when I can truly forgive myself for what I did, but I will choose to no longer live with resentment in my heart, here and now.
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The local shepherd of the Tiller fields finds herself today out of armor for a change, wearing slacks and getting her hands dirty pulling out weeds, helping out the farm closest to the kobold lands, often beset by unwanted kobold visitors. While working, she would recollect the story of how her and a few others had found the secret lair to where the kobolds kept all their eggs, that had seemed to be protected by lizard folk and Yaunti. How three brave souls including herself had went deep to confront the forces there. She'd communicate to how they had the opportunity to destroy all the eggs if they desired to deal with the kobold plight, but chose not to.
Should the farmer inquire, Varya would likely reply, "Sometimes in life you have two choices. The right thing to do, and the necessary thing to do. For the longest time even for me, often choosing the right one has been a struggle. Sometimes while you might think one is the right one, and one is the necessary one, sometimes they get flipped on their heads. In the Grain Goddess' love, her being a goddess of fertility and life, as much as she is of agriculture, I made the decision to put what I felt the right decision ahead of the necessary one... and they bother us to this day."
Whether the farmer would be bothered by the reply or not, she'd apologetically smile and added, "We have our little invasions here now and then, but I've trained a lot of people here to deal with them if need be.... as grim as it may sound, at least the foolish ones here that do try and attack have made great fertilizer so far. Yet... for years upon years since that incident we've had no large scale invasions, attack attempts, or disruptions. Sometimes showing mercy to those you think that would want nothing more but to see you said can be appreciated... even by those you'd think would never appreciate it. These are lessons we all need to remember, including myself."
Her fingers like leather, having wielded weapons for most her life would continue to plow into the earth, drawing out the weeds and putting them into a wheel barrow to be dried out and mulched later continued to dig in and out. Visible scrapes and cuts on the back of her hands though there the rigors of hard work doing things like this were more prevalent though, yet the shepherd wouldn't complain.
The evening prayers would be provided, and though there wasn't a feast day, Varya's mother had always been known to use her blessings to provide extra food to eat, now being served by a friendly face who once could not be bothered to do such, now making an effort to realize how important she once thought were the little things in life truly were.
