Sara Quickfoot's notebook

[elor_danna]

a small notebook with a black cover, permanently hidden deep inside Sara's clothes

Start 'o me life:
Well, I decided to write stuff down 'bout my life so far. It's been stinky, bloody, and a living hell…I love it! 'course, I was even smaller than I am now at the start. Me dad ran off, and me mom died, so I had to fend for meself. I got to runnin' stuff for other people fast, and then I started stealin' everythin' that wasn't heavy, hot or bolted down. Me hands are quick, so me not get caught a lot. After a while though, me started getting into shite, so me moved out 'o da city, and went south. Dem barbarians stink like a week old pile 'o orc dung, but they is slow and stupid, so dats good. Well, me still life there, couple 'o years later. Me is still really small, and the big uns are bad against me 'cause 'o that, but me survive. I steal, I kill, I lie and I cheat, and I get away with it, so I don't see why not to do it. Me never say me real name, and me never show me face. If dem ask me, me say me face is bad, and me not want to show it. Bloody know-it-all bastards.

Righty, time for me to start 'riting real stuff down 'ere, else it's just a waste of space, and me hate wastes of space. That's why me hate dem big uns so much, waste of space, air and good ol' money. That's why I think it's me duty to get their money, and give it to a good cause. Me!

Not that long ago, me met one 'o dem crazy 'umies in the orc village. Well, that village the orcs want real bad. Me was walking, one of a sudden some humie kid started stealing me kills. So, me tell her to quit that. She just giggled and stuff, stupid humies. Me chased her around a bit in town, but she managed to hide. Me, being really smart, laid a trap. Simple gold coin. She bought it, and I catched her taking it. Talked a bit. Well, I talked a bit and she just stood there, too stupid to speak. Stupid hummie retard. O' course, I took some of her money. Went real smooth and stuff. After that, I told her to buzz off and stay away from me. You know, maybe her stupidness is infectuous or stuff. Stuttered something about her name being Star or stuff. Nae know, nae care. So I left, and gave her the finger too, called her bitch and stuff I think.

Oh yeah, something else weird happened too not so long ago. I was walkin' south, to the stinkies, when I bumped into this big group. One o' dem uptight priests, Kara sumfink, and some other people. So, me go over there and ask where they're going. One o' dem, woman, priestess, not wearing a lot o' clothes, tells me they were after an oregy. I nae knew what that was, so me asked if you could eat it, she said nae, but that it was fun, so I followed them. Once we hit the stinky town, they started blablablaing a bit, so me stole some gold from them. Stupid big 'uns. Got a pretty coin too. After that, we went on, and we met another 'umie. Name's Rando me think. He was in the woods, and we were lookin' for something in the woods, so I asked him whether he was an oregy. He said nae, but I don't trust him much. Too big. Either way, I nicked some gold of him and went to bed, 'cause it was getting late.

I think I'll write more later, this stuff is fun.