3. If Troff Could Write

If Troff Could Write


  • I met Thorn today. On the road.

    I stalked up to him with white hot anger, but as soon as I got near I just collapses at his feat babbling "why?" over and over again. Thorn didn't have any answers, only pity. I can't hate him, especially since now the woman I loves soul is part of his. Adriell worries about me, but she's a good person like that. Of course she worries. But she doesn't love, at least not like I do.

    I'd do anything for her.

    Can't stop loving her, and she won't love me back.
    Not now.
    Not anymore.

    Unconditional.
    Unrequited.
    Unbelievable.
    Love.


  • Adriell and Thorn are bonded. Just like that.

    I've cried every day, almost every hour. I've cried blood. It feels like a piece of my soul, all my soul has been ripped right out of me. Nothing but pain. I can't stop loving her, I love her with all my being. Then poof one little bit of elven magic and she loves him more.

    Pain.
    Love.
    Pain unending.


  • The man making clones is back again. Or he sorta is.

    Val and Adriell and I were just exiting the crypts after surviving a few nasty fights. When those circles, those fecking green circles appeard. At first just one, then two more blockingour path. I told them both to stya still and not move, and they both listend.

    Then soemthing different happend, undead archers started fiering at us. Had to risk it, had to charge. I managed to avoid all the green circles but Adriell, poor Adriell didn't. By the end of the fight we had two Dire Bears my barky Adriell and her poor confused clone.

    Then the clone master comes out…. he isn't supposed to be abel to leave the crypts. Well he can't, turnsout thi si sthe clone of him and he had/has? th eorigionalunder his control still working for him int he crypts. Anyway, he said he was going ot take the clone with him. Val and I weren't aobut to let that happen. Seh hit him with some magic and while he was frozen I slit his throat. He didn;'t die like normal blue stuff came out first. Adriells cloen flew away as a bird, I hope this clone stays dead forever and the origonal doesn't make any more.

    Haven't been abel to find the cloan, all this plus harvy is to much for Adriell I think. She's exausted. Fell asleep right on my shoudler, right in my arms.

    It might be bad for her but I think all this crazyness is driving us closer together, which I can't help but like.


  • Well the impossible happened today, twice. One horrible the other great. And this has nothing to do with the hoards of bugbear-undead-hoboblins-drow-kobolds-and gods knows what else attacking the south gates of Norwick. Though it is getting harder to defend, and needing to be defended more often.

    First it's Eli. I found out she was lying to me about the pixie dust. Then I confronted her told her I'd found out and do you know what I got? Nothing. I could hardly believe it. NOTHING! No apology for lying, no explanation, no talking about how hard pixie dust is, about how she got started, hells ntohing even aobut if she enjoys it or why she does it just nothing. A while ago when Jay killed me, just after. Eli told me I was a much better friend to her than she was to me, and she was right. It's only gotten worse. She never shows any interest anymore, hells she doesn't even tell me about her problems anymore. Thats Thorns job now, I guess I was just a cheep replacement until he got back. I've got nothing left to give Elilian, I wish you luck and wish you well.

    Well, after being mad about that was trying to cheer Adriell up(she's having real problems dealing with a Vampire Harvy, the fecker. Need to talk to people at the temple) and nearly killed myself doing it. Fell into the lake in full armor and cloak. Forgot how damn heavy wet armor and shit is. Anyway she jumped in and couldn't pull me up… and so did Thorn, who I didn't even know was there. Really struggling until Adriell turned into a Bear and saved us all from downing.

    Then after Thorn and Noah left me and Adriell sat there talking. I complimented her, she said it sounded like I was hitting on her. And well we started talking. It bothers me a little I think, how hesitant she was. We're dating now, even though neither o us really know if it'll work. But gods it felt good to sit there me holding her, her leaning on me. Don't mess this up Troff Legion, you won't do better.

    Bad then the good. Lost a good friend and gained well something more with someone else that was a good friend.

    Funny what this ugly mug can do.


  • Gods I'm glad for Adriell.

    After I died, in the crypts to those horrible monster I haven't really been abel to leave the city. Well I can't if my packs a mess, that would get me killed again. So I've been putting that off.

    Here I am sitting in Pelt commons starring at my pack for how many days I'm not sure. And she sneaks up on me and gives me a barky hug, guess someone told her. We talked, had dinner. She was there for me, even asked me to come to the glen the inner part so I can relax there. Even gave me one of those magic leaves the druids always use.

    I'm not sure who started it, if I grabbed hers or if she grabbed mine, but we held hands for along time. That was nice, comforting. To bad I nearly fell into Reveri right there on her, not doing that for days at a time catches up with you. She practically made me go rest.

    She'll be waiting for me in the glenn. Guess its time to get my pack together. Potions in the outer pouches, healing on the right enhancements on t he left. Strap my shield belt and two helms to the outside. Emergency potions on my belt, invisibilities, a strong healing or two. Time 't git my shit together, or at leas together enough to see Adriell again.

    I might not be able to pull myself together, but she can.


  • Whatever edge I thought I had, whatever skills I thought I've gained. I've lost them.


  • I'm not sure what happened or what it is, but something just "clicked" the other day. After we got done defeating a mess of bugbears and demons they summoned by sacrificing some poor individuals. I'm just, I don't really know how to describe it, better?

    I dueled Crux and well I've always been good at blocking, or well it's always kept me alive anyway, and she just seemed to be moving so… slow. It's that way when I fight now. Everything just seems to be moving slower and I can hack and thrash out from behind my shield and keep my defenses in tact.

    Blows seem to glance more to, a stab tot he shoulder just.. doesn't seem so bad. Shrug it off and move on. I've got a lot more focused in my fighting I guess. Faster, better. I hope it lasts, it's nice when everyone else seems like they're stuck in molasses.


  • Adriell is back and Jaelle is dead, though the second part sounds like good news it aint.

    Th' crazy girl took out an entire inn in Oscura. Now Oscura aint my favorite place but hells, that was just evil. I hope the body gets hidden away and never found. Or we'll have another Jay. Speaking of Jay's still out there and it seems his revenge is now focused on the sails. Drelen, the leader, got killed in the explosion of the inn, so I guess that's one down. The madman needs to be stopped, but I know I can't beat him.

    Happy new, happy news. Adriell is back finally, though she's a bit out of sorts. Apparently it only seems like 2 weeks to her when it's really been two years. I don't have any clue what that feels like, but "not good" has to be about right.

    As much as I love seeing her again I hate seeing her so confused and sad, or is it angry? Never was good at reading people. Hard to be happy and concerned at the same time but damnit I'm trying. When she's forgetting about all her problems those are the best times in the world.

    Adriell I've missed you.


  • Telli fell, the great mighty hero of all free people Telli is now dead and with Cahunta. I'm a litle sad, not as much as I thought I'd be.

    She's with her god now, none of this uneasy raising going on, no second life. She lived, she did great things, and now she's dead and with her godess. That's the kind of life I want. Though I'd like to die of old age I don't plan on it.

    The Hungry One needs stopping, and there's other threats some more dangerous than others. We just lost maby our strongest individual except maby Grag, so I better step it up.

    In her death she inspires.


  • It's been a while, a few months at least since it's happend. Since that bastard Jay cut me down in the middle of Norwick. Jack did just as much of the work as Jay though. Now they're banned from Norwick and Pelt. Jaelle wasn't there, but she's just as bad as those two.

    Gina got away, and at least I bought her that much time. My death was punishment for soemthing I didn't even do. I want to turn on them with rage and anger, to protect them from murdering anyone else, no more little girls or wives or Gina to be hurt by them.

    Eli and Gina were there for me when I recoverd. I like spending time with Gina even if she is so closed off. And Eli, well she said some things that got me thinking. Said she wasn't as good a freind to me as I was to her, said she'd try and be there more for me.Then left.

    I've died twice now. Came back both times. Jay has been killed, and he comes back. Death is confusing me, it just doesn't seem to stick to anyone arround here.

    I'm glad Gina and Eli are there for me. Good freinds, the best.


  • Tears stain this imaginary page.

    I don't know I just don't know. Eli is gone but not forever I hope.

    She hit her head and now thinks she's some Taena. She's acting like Gina, thinks she's a slave. I have to protect her till she gets better.

    I spend all my time with her just hopping against hope she recovers. Magic hasn't done shit so far. I took her to see her kids, nothing. This is worse than death seeing her this way. Thorn said it used to happen all th' time with his brother, said his brother would recover I hope Eli does.

    I spend a lot of time crying, sobbing until I'm dry. Then wanting to cry more.

    I love Eli. I miss her. She can't be gone she just can't.


  • People have problems, personnel problems. Being in the infected camp south of Norwick is really bringing them out.

    Jaell wants me dead.
    A freind 's after a girl he doesn't think he kin have an'that I want.
    Caelian died and doesn't think he's good enough to just live in peace.
    Aelthas is getting more and more homesick of hsi family, and been doing some real nuts things latly, fighting a Troblin bare handed.
    Jerrick alwayse has problems, alwayse. Seems he's got a grilfriend nwo at least.
    Adriell is gone, I try not 't think 'f her to much, spending time with so many druids it's hard not to.

    A lot of problems, these dont got nothing to do with the dozen or so armies trying 't take out Norwick or just harassing it.

    Gina said she likes 't win. I've never been much of a winir, learned 't role with th' punches take what I kind get fight for every inch. I'm not good enough to protect everyone, and I know it, but hells if that's going 't stop me from trying. Gota learn 't shut out everyones squabbling and bickering.

    Stay focused.
    Fight yer enemies not yer freinds.
    Know what's right.


  • I found Lathander, or he found me through a man named C'tan.

    A group of us were headed through the crypts. Lower levels with undead pouring out like Valshrron himself had walked by.

    I ended up held and helpless in the middle of a room, surrounded. They had me dead to rights, me and Loc both. Then this man rushed to the front and started shoving us toward the exit, as I could only watch on. He fought bravley, with valor, and with no heed ot his own safty only ours.

    He gave his life for us, and I know that Lathander saved me through him. I know, that is the kind of man I strive to be day in and day out. I may not be that man yet, but I'm on my way.

    Yana was right after all.

    Lathander be praised, and thank him for C'tan.


  • I've begun looking into other faiths, other gods and goddesses trying to find one that…. fits. I have Eli to thank for that. She told me all about her own crises of faith, and switching of gods. Such a good friend, always an ear to listen and a good word of advice.

    My first though was Chaunta. God of farmers and all that.

    I look at my life now though, all the fighting all the death. I don't reap or sow. That part of my life is over, at least for now. So that's a big no unfortunately.

    what then? Tempus, Torm, Tyre? Gods all about the fight. I do a lot of fighting. I don't like it though. Grog said i do a lot of bashing so I should pray to Thag god of bashing, I told him I didn't like all th' bashing I did. He pritty quickly agreed that Thag weren't for me.

    So what do I believe in? That was a question Yana asked me. I told her and she said Lthander would fit me, th' god she follows. And it is appealing. I dont know ifin I can just jump right into another gods arms so fast though.

    Miliki, another godess that keeps poping up. Loads of my freinds are Millikkians, even General Lyte. I'll have to ask Jerrick more about her.

    It's not like I can jsut get a list of what th' gods are about, compare it to how I am and pick th' one thats most similar, right? It can't be that simple, faith shouldn't be about similarity. It has to be something I believe in I think.


  • I died. For real this time. There was this gohst thing, actually a lot of them, but this one was meaner than the rest. Took me out, I tried to run away.

    Then I was somewhere else, dead. I thought that was going to be it. I don't like resurrection, it just doesn't seem right or natural. I wanted my eternal reward, I fought and died protecting Norwick.

    He didn't want me.

    I remember that from my time dead, he didn't want me. Corelian wasn't going to give me an eternal rest, not now not ever.

    Then there was something that did, a wall. I almost made it there. Then I heard someone calling for me, from far off and I went towards that instead.

    Now I'm back amongst the living. Living a second life, while I know many of my freinds are on there 4th or 5th or so. We're almost abominations.

    And I am faithless. There is no god to hear my prayers. No eternal rest when I die. Just the wall, waiting for me, wanting me.


  • Well I'm getting more perspective. That is how my friends that happen to be Druids see the world. Sorta.

    I asked Jerrick how I'm supposed to treat them when they are in animals form. Fully like an animal, fully like a person, somewhere in between? He said that they'd let me know ifin I was overstepping my bounds. The only one I've gotten up the courage to pet so far has been Belia. Just seems odd petting my friends.

    I mean sure I've uh rode on and been mauled by Jerrick and Adriell, but thats like tussling rough housing I'd do stuff like that when they're people to. At least I've sparred with Jerrick…. that counts. Adriell well I'd be hard pressed to hit her. Ok more like I'd rather get hit real hard int he face by a charging bull than hit her.

    Right. So.

    I spent time as a penguin and a Cow, thanks to the ever present wold shaping beings that I seem to be attracted to these days. So I think I kindof know what its like.

    I didn't like it, my head felt fuzzy. Like being drunk and not doing exactly what you mean to then not remembering perfectly later. Then add in there animal instincts.

    Maby they do it the same reason people drink? Dad always told be people drink to escape. Fuddels the mind and lets people make excuses. And then he'd take a swig of hard-cyder. Do people need that? an escape. I know I feel like that sometime. Still don't drink much, like being sharp, ready.

    Belia's been nice to me lately, since Adriell has been gone.


  • I faced death today. Not in the way you'd normally think so though.

    I didn't die, and I did die.

    I'll start at the begining. We went on a trip to the crypts where there where some weird magy wards. when I stepped into the first oen it made an exact copy of me. Thought it was a doppleganger at first. Then he just kinda faded away. Few more f us got cloned on the tip. Got to hard so we made ou way out. On the way I got cloned againa nd my clone yelled out that he wasn't going to die again and attacked.

    Hammer fell on our way out. Then this odd fecking mage comes and raises Hammer. Tells us he's the one who was making the clones and needed our help to compleet his research. Well I stepped in quick as you please and my clone pops up again. Apparently making them moren once is unstable, so if it dont take in the first or second go your out of luck.

    I had to watch myself die, three times. I know it was me, just because it was made by some mage dont mean shit it was me. Only difference was he got 10 minuts of life where he died three times.

    Gilr named Mia was with us, her clone was th only one that made it. Seems stable for now. I hope she makes it.

    I died today, died three times. I got to watch ever. single. one. I couldn't do anything to save myself either.

    I'm sad for myself, for not being able to save me.


  • I hate everything right now. I hate Eggbutt and his damn Troblins for attacking and making us infected, AGAIN. I hate that shark thing that we couldn't touch. I hate Rain for drawing the Troblins off of me onto her. I hate Umberlee for drowning Jaelle in front o my eyes as I sit in camp, I can hardly look at her most times. I hate Jaelle for "sacrificing" herselff for the sake of her crew. I hate the Vampires and the Drow and gods only know what else is lurking in the night.

    It's keeping me on a razors edge every night, just knowing we are going to be attacked. We could barely handle Troblins when prepared, what are we going to do if surprised?

    I just don't understand how there can be so much that I can't protect my friends from!

    I hate myself for not being able to protect them, protect any of them. I look at my sword and my shield and know that I am no match for a godess or this strange magic. Yet I'll fight, maby even die oh what a horrible thought, and I wont stop.


  • Soooo I got kissed. By Val.

    She kindof snuck up on me. Said it was just to get a rise out of me, if that's the case I didn't flail around or stutter or anything like that. It got my head spinning, the shark attack just afterwords didn't help any.

    Oh yah and she was naked.

    I wonder why she did it? I mean I hope she isn't falling for me, gods only know why anyone would, because I don't really think of her "that way".

    She's nice and everything, and this is going to sound racist, but I'm really only finding myself attracted to elves. I guess it comes with the territory? Although I see plenty of elves and humans and everything else being animalistically attracted to each other. Well that might just be because I hang out with druids to much. Heh to much, yah right.

    Haven't seen Adriell in a while, hope she's doing alright.


  • So I've been thinking about using a Scimitar. I mentioned it to Jerrick and was surprised by him being surprised that I'd think of using a Scimitar. He was nearly shocked that I'd step away from bigger weapons. I didn't really think finally deciding on a weapon was that big a deal, and I don't really see why "soldier types", as Jerrik put it, don't use them.

    After all I do spend a lot of time around druids and they're always swinging those things about. Would think I'd pick up some habits. Was so shocked by Jerriks strong response I asked him to train me to use a Scimitar better, he agreed but I don't think I'll hold him to that. He's got a lot on his plate.

    I wonder if he approves of me wanting to use a Scimitar? Do I care if he approves? That's a tough question. Jerrik's a friend, I think. He can also be quite an ass. Seemed like eh had something against me for a while right when he quit the Legion. Glad that's over with, can only put up with that shit for so long.

    Maby I'll ask Adriell to give me a few tips on Scimitars instead. Might end up with a few bite marks learning from her but that's nothing new.

    I'd ask Caelian but he's got Elli to worry about.

    Maby training in one weapon was a silly idea.

    I'm going treasure hunting soon. Hope no one dies, especially not Val. She takes it easy but i take it hard.