Anger, passion, channeled rage, destruction. The desire to see all those in your path who cross you consumed in burning flame.
I am completely livid. But focused… the goal will continue, through the tragic events of today, I have found new resolve.
There will be no peace for me. I have accepted this.
No peace for me should I free my people.
I am truly beginning to understand Kossuth's teachings through the Order of the Salamander. As a slave, I merely made a friend of their faithful, and practiced exercises that offered distraction from the rigors of servitude. Something to distract my mind from the pain and sorrow I felt.
I was taught to empty my cup before I can learn the truth as I perceive it. My problem is I have left my cup empty for so long, only to let things trickle in since I have been freed.
Now I am beginning to see. Now, after being broken for so long, I am beginning to feel, to truly feel.
Love for the Seldarine, my fallen family, my people... love for my sister, even love for Hen. And love even for baby Vladmir, the child of the kursks who had so much potential; who I cared for as a slave, who I fed, took care of, and even allowed to use me as an outlet for his frustration... I could take it.
Unbridled hated for demons, for the drow, for those who would do my loved ones harm.
Anger... rage, towards the ignorant, towards those who cannot learn from their mistakes. One who I should revere and respect for the services he has done for our people, but the fact he shows no remorse for mistakes made, the fact that he will not be able to admit faults and blame others, and the fact that he is willing to blind himself to the fact that we committed a horrible atrocity by accident, that we sacrificed a soul of my people to resurrect a demon as an experiment, and has shown denial and tried to make justifications and hypothesis that it could not have happened leaves me in bitter disgust. I will continue working with him as he means well to a certain extent, but should his pride and volatile nature cost me any more of my loved ones, I do not know what I'll do...
I stand at a crossroads now.
Could I make the sacrifice to truly become a devout to the Order of the Salamander and watch those who stand before me, defiant, burn by my fist. Sacrifice my mind, body and soul to living flame and rise from the ashes like the phoenix.
Do I continue walking this path, and continue trying to be one with my people, to continue to uphold my oaths, and continue remaining calm, patient whimpering omega pup who will always feed last and remain submissive. To just stand back and fire my bow, knowing.
My vision...
My vision is to see that my people can live in peace, no matter what the cost is to myself. I will not barter with demons, devils, for power to do so. I will continue to show mercy to the weak, should they ask upon it, though should what they ask is false, they will find me shepherding them to the afterlife with my bow or my fist. I will continue to improve myself, and transcend limits that others can only break with the use of petty magics.